help cancel one show at a time...

let's join my friend, Jasmyne Cannick, and help her cancel "shirley q. liquor" show dates.

it has been done before and we can do it again!

check out the specifics @ http://www.jasmynecannick.typepad.com/.

this behavior is not acceptable and let us make sure that everyone knows that it will not be quietly tolerated.

SELF LOVE~ SELF ACCEPTANCE~ SELF RESPECT

my haitian tears...

when i say that we are the mothers of humanity, i am not just being dramatic.

when i saw this picture and read of the women and children starving; words cannot convey the deep sadness and pain that i felt then and feel now.

i am a mother. i am of african descent. i see these images and i see---my child and me. i am connected. we are the same people. we simply live in different places and have different experiences. it is only by God's grace that i am spared.

a little history of haiti.

in haiti, a once proud people have reached the level of poverty where in the face of starvation, african people are eating dried mud to fill their bellies and fool their bodies into thinking they are actually getting sustenance. like africans around the world, these conditions in haiti can be traced to imperialist white governments. these impoverished conditions are imposed. they are not the natural order of things.

this haitian imperialist-imposed situation can be traced back to the period immediately following the haitian revolution of 1804, one of the first successful slave revolutions in the world. after the slave rebellion defeated napoleon's troops the haitian government was forced to pay reparations to france for having freed themselves. since that time, haiti has been under constant attack from imperialist white supremacist u.s. and french governments.

i love history because it will inform your future. it will also warn you against certain pitfalls if you simply study and respect it. sisters and brothers when we are free, we will not pay reparations! instead for taking our freedom we will...apologize. ok, bad joke. i feel blessed to have retained my sense of humor.

i am prayerful that in due time the last will indeed be first. i don't know that i accept that "meekness" will get us there. i do know that i am committed to doing my part to make that change happen. in many ways i feel like the world is needing and waiting for us...


SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

UPDATE

GET INVOLVED!!! i believe that grassroots is the way to go in an effort to effect meaningful change. this post was done in agreement with the Haitian Solidarity Movement. as the information becomes available i will continue to update this post.

Join people in 36 cities on four continents to mark the International Day in Solidarity with the People of Haiti. The events will mark the 4th anniversary of the coup in which US Marines kidnapped Haiti’'s president, Jean-Bertrand Aristide, and replaced the democratically-elected government with UN forces.

Four years later, Haiti is under a UN-US occupation, and thousands of Aristide supporters have been killed or imprisoned. The occupation has been marked by deepening poverty, arrest, rape, disappearance and murder.

Events will also protest the disappearance of Lovinsky Pierre-Antoine, co-founder of Fondasyon Trant Septanm which advocates for victims of the 1991 and 2004 coups d'états against Jean-Bertrand Aristide; Fondasyon members carry out weekly vigils demanding justice for victims of human rights violations and for the release of political prisoners. Additionally the co-founder of Fondasyon Trant Septanm Wilson Mésilien has been forced underground.

International actions calling for Lovinsky'’s safe return and safety for Wilson Mésilien and others under threat have included weekly vigils and fasts in London, England, and other actions and fasters from Guyana, to Spain to Los Angeles. Haiti has been punished by colonial powers since the Haitian revolution of 1804 where the most powerful army of the day, Napoleon’s army, was defeated and led the way for the emancipation of those enslaved throughout the Americas.

Haiti gave refuge to Simon Bolivar, the liberator of Latin America, and provided ships and fighters. The Haitian people remain determined and are once again making a revolution. Everyone Welcome * Donation $5, no one turned away * Translation into Spanish All funds raised will go to support Haitian grassroots activistsLA event coordinated by the Women of Color in the Global Women’s Strike and GWS/LA sponsors include ANSWER-LA, CISPES, Eastside Café, International Action Center-LA For more info 323-276-9833, la@crossroadswomen.net, www.globalwomenstrike.net

The call for the 3rd International Day in Solidarity with the People of Haiti has been initiated by the Haiti Action Committee.

International demands include:

End the US/UN Occupation – Respect Haiti’s sovereignty Free the political prisoners – No more illegal arrests or prolonged detention without charges
No more killings and sexual abuse of the poor by UN troops, police and paramilitaries under police control President Aristide must be free to return to Haiti – Respect the Haitian Constitution
No more ‘disappearances’ – Work for the rule of law and the safe return of kidnapped Haitian human rights advocate Lovinsky Pierre-Antoine Launch an independent inquiry into the February 29, 2004 coup and forced removal of President Aristide Perpetrators of the coup and massacres of the poor must be brought to justice – Reparations (not APOLOGIES alone) for the victims

...answer... for lack of a better word

here's the thing. i don't think there is a right or wrong answer. there are only different answers. whatever the answer is for you---the key is to start there! we will meet in the middle.

i am radical and like to start at the...root.

our strength is in our differences.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

question for you

malena posed a great question.

..."when it comes to social change, where do we start? at the root or the tips?...

do we care...to remember the time?

this has been in my spirit for awhile. obedience is better than sacrifice, so let me get to it.

the truth is so simple, yet we seem determined to make it difficult.

we must change the way we see things. no one can or will do it for us. it is in our best interest, only, to do the work.

an undisputable truth is that self respecting people respect their ancestors. in all of our "diversity" and feverish attempts to place our black selves in other communities have we not noticed that other groups-the jews, armenians, hispanics, asians etc. not only honor their ancestors; they do not forget the suffering of their ancestors, nor will they allow anyone else to forget the blood equity of their ancestors. in fact, they build monuments, institutions named in honor of ____, and museums so that their children will know the truth of their histories. these courses in history take place well before college for their masses.

as we spend time together, you may hear this often---"mother said..." my mother taught me a lot, influenced me greatly and i will share my mother’s wit with all that has an ear to hear. i have been given much, as such i understand that it is the divine expectation and my responsibility to share my blessings. i have decided that i will not disappoint my divine purpose and destiny. i urge everyone to make that same commitment. it is win/win because when shared the blessing is that much sweeter and you get closer to truth, love, wisdom and greater understanding.

here it is, (i warned you:-) mother said, "fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree". that has always stuck with me. those of us that are blessed to know this truth, when meeting strangers; we seek to learn more about them by asking about and ultimately getting to know their families. families that are proud of their ancestors have their images prominently featured in their homes and will tell you in a heartbeat all about their lives and accomplishments. i speak from experience. we have every bit as much right to be proud-we survived- and equally the responsibility to our ancestors to remember and share their stories.

one would do well to understand that "fruit doesn't fall too far from the tree" applies to our historical and present enemies as well. it is not wise to forget. it is lethal to not know. just as you look and act just like your grandma, they do, too. (ever had an elder tell you that about a relative that passed before you arrived and how you look and act “just like” them?) your enemies’ “fruit” has been filled with "traditions" and will fight hard to protect them. only we are chastised, ridiculed, and shamed into the notion that we should forget our history. reject it! nothing about this country suggests that anyone else has forgotten their history. this country celebrates the past routinely. Douglass was onto something, "power concedes nothing".

sisters, we are descendants of a people that refused to accept defeat. we refused to die. we are the descendants of the original women on this earth. we are the mothers of humanity. in us is the presence of all colors of the human family. black is the presence of all colors-not the absence, even in people. we must learn, know and return to our original selves.

our hair, like non other on the planet, is a testament to our power and resilient spirit. we must teach ourselves-no one else is going to or can- to love, accept, and respect ourselves. starting with our hair...everything else will be a breeze in comparison my sisters. we will have the power to change the world when we do this. sisters, time is of the essence…

...our strength, power, and resilience has been perverted and turned against us. yes, we are adept at standing on our own two feet. yes, in the face of no historical options, we have worn more hats than any one woman should. however, there is no shame in our resilient, warrior spirits...there is only shame in continuing to accept in ignorance the perversion of our truth. we have the power and the divine responsibility to ensure our preservation; it is in fact the first law of nature. we must accept this truth and live freely.

…it is not "God's will" that we should continue to wear and bear all of the responsibility of the black collective ladies. stop repeating the lies that you “don’t need a man”, that you can “do it all by yourself”, that you are “happily overweight”. it is okay to lose weight for your appearance. respectable people care about not only their appearance, but the appearance of their children, their work, their possessions, and their community. save yourself. know and accept the truth and it will indeed make you free. bondage, of any kind, will not even be a viable option once you have tasted divine freedom.

the truth is---our divine Godly crowns are of feminine, glorious, nurturing, powerful womanhood. it is by divine purpose that women and men of all hues were created. black women were never meant to be without our men, their love, their protection, their provision, their partnership in procreation and parenting. it was/is devilish perversion that rendered the violently enforced lack of all of these blessings.

sisters, claim your birthright. now. don't ask permission. you don't need the permission of another human being. in all truth, they lack the authority to grant you permission. you don’t need an operator to talk to God, either. anyone that tells you that you do is a lethargic devil. powerfully rebuke them. boldly claim your blessings. free yourself and then help free others that look like you. when you are ready for a break, i strongly urge you to take it. be afraid and do it anyways. we were never meant to survive this life. this is how i live my life and it works. wisdom cautions and highlights the fact that no one is going to give us a break, if we are to have one we will need to take it. powerfully.

brothers, there was a time when there was no sexist-let's treat her as less because she is a woman-nonsense. historically, our womanhood as african women has been our strength. when our natural state was interrupted, our womanhood was used against us and to further disrespect you. when it is time for white supremacy, racism and maltreatment; no one noticed we were women before and they don't now. lynching references apply to both black women and men. your genitals were mutilated and kept as keepsakes. ours were as well, in addition to being used as a special form of torture a.k.a. rape. you MUST do a better job of honoring our history and us. we are still being tortured---by you for the most part now.

from Yaa Asantewa to Laura Nelson, we have-like our hair-fought resiliently against suppression and oppression- to protect our children; as well as support and encourage our men victoriously forward.

we descendants of Rubin Stacey and Laura Nelson (our ancestors pictured above---may they rest in peace, they were both found to be not guilty after their murders) still have more in common than not. we must get back to focusing on our shared bonds, common interests (the survival and uplift of black people) and our shared history. we must love, accept, respect and work with one another. our very survival depends on it.

do we care...to remember the time... when sexism did not divide us? do we care to return to a healthier way of relating to one another? does it matter that our lives, and those of our children and community are at stake?

why, my brothers are you now so distracted with the ability to exercise your "male privilege" to disrespect, dominate, degrade, and destroy your women and children? can you not see that is no "privilege"? how have you missed the fact that the behavior of the worst of you now disgraces the collective you? feverishly dating and marrying low class, white men reject white women, despite your successes render you... a joke... to... everyone. i am sure the practice shames your ancestors that suffered so much as a direct result of deceptive white women and vicious, brutal, threatened white men. they must weep to see you rush to embody the stereotype.

why not use your melanin and genetic dominance to put a stop to the genetically recessive melanin deficient world-wide rampage? then enjoy your freedom from oppression, dependency, imprisonment, persecution, domination, and control? that would seem a more worthwhile honorable “privilege”. take it if you want it. be afraid and do it anyways, we were never meant to survive this life.

as black women work to free ourselves from mental slavery, black men-you must do the same. we are unwilling and unable to join forces with you until you do what you should be doing. at least, not the quality women that you would want to stand with you; we require respect and honorable, respectful treatment at all times. we refuse to settle for less. call it difficult or whatever you like. in your right mind, you would call it the blessing that it is. higher standards cause those that meet them to…rise.

consider this if you will---where there was compassion and understanding yesteryear, when through physical enslavement and brutality you were not able to protect your women and children; there will be none today. because black men, today, you of your own volition refuse in large numbers to protect your women and children. only you can reinstate the shame among men that has historically accompanied such shameful unmanly behavior.

you won’t see this on the news, however, the truth of the matter is black women are not equipped to teach your sons how to be men. we are women. we will no longer own responsibility that is not ours. your daughters need you, too. how else will they know the authentic love of a man? discern love from disrespect? sort the trickery and lies? have the protection inherent with the powerful presence of a father that doesn't "play"? black women need your assistance and partnership. you must step into your God given roles of enforcers of law and order. self respect mandates this course of action. wayward, criminal, dishonorable men should feel immediate reprisals when they violently and viciously attack your sisters, daughters, mothers and sons.

furthermore, men that have a place at the table of men would not tolerate such disrespect in their communities. not for a moment. those that hope to secure scraps from the table of men will accept pretty much anything they can get. be reminded that your behavior indicates who you are. your words are an indication of who you dream someday to be.

sisters and brothers, do we care to remember when we were queens and kings? when we were free women and men? when we loved, supported and worked with one another? do we care…to remember or return to the time?



SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

Malcolm...you are sorely missed

i miss you Malcolm and black men like you. with all that i am.

you should know that the message cointelpro sought to violently send was well received. revolutionaries will be dead revolutionaries. the fear now paralyzes black men and puts them on their best behavior. most are stunningly well adjusted to oppression as a result.

you, however, struck fear in the hearts of oppressive white men and women. you gave them cause to pause and re-think their course. thank you.

it seems our men today are either elders, corrupt, morally bankrupt, inter racially dating/married and focused on just "living their stress free lives", or so complacent that resisting oppression and the mention of it is more than they can/would like to handle. you know there are even black men that will loudly assert, when given the opportunity that they have achieved due to their merits; not the efforts of men like you, or worst of all they are shameless, false revolutionaries.

one sexist, media seeking, conk wearing (incredulously yes-he still conks his hair) false revolutionary in particular has behaved so disrespectfully, shamefully, and treacherously recently that all black men should feel ashamed and galvanized into action. sadly enough, i don't think most black men noticed or care so complete is their self hatred and destruction these days.

furthermore, our rapists, abusers and murderers yesteryear were mostly white men, today they are black like you. i would venture to say that some black men today, hate us more than any white man or woman could. the hatred they feel for us sometimes permeates the air when we are in close proximity, it saddens me to report.

today, there is still mainly only concern for the suffering of black men by black men; as if they could get to the planet and be nurtured without black women. record numbers of black men have absolved themselves not only of their responsibilities to their women but to their children as well. i think the notion of real, honorable, respectful, protective black love left the collective black consciousness not too long after you left the earth. brothers violently turned on themselves and now their sisters, mothers, and daughters. there is no balance. i am sorry to bring such disappointing news. i really wish it were different, that we were in fact living your legacy.

the upside is that black women can no longer deny the need for us to save ourselves.

Malcolm, i know you would not have been so quiet, polite, or silently stood for black queens and princesses to be disrespected, degraded, and violated. your self respect and manhood would not have allowed it. i could also see your love for black women in your choice in life partner.

you were gone before i got here. i love and miss you anyway. i wish i could have known you personally. you know what i admire the most about you? you knew what you thought without needing a white man or woman to tell you. i miss that. the opposite holds true today.

case in point, the value of black women. white men and women have assigned black women no value; due to the fact that they understand we are essential to the survival of black people. because black men recklessly disregard our history, refuse to think for themselves , refuse to act collectively in black best interests at all times, and are taught to not appreciate, trust, love nor protect black women---they don't. how...child-like, obedient and self destructive. far be it from me not to point it out. out of sheer embarrassment i will spare you the gory details of the complete belief of most black men that white and white-like women are as white men have declared the epitome of value. i feel at times a lot like the female version of pre-Mecca you, with all due respect. i realize that post Mecca period must have been an extremely trying time for you.

thank you for the hope with which your life journey fills me. i know, like spirited men will organize themselves, stand up, and resist. in the interim, i won't/can't wait for black men. i am sure you understand.

thank you for your courage. thank you for your example. thank you for your sacrifice. i know you have heard it since you left, i will say it nonetheless---job well done.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

transition complete!!!

whew! it took some doing as most worthwhile things do. my transition to blogger is now complete!!!

all of the posts with the exception of the first "transition" piece were pulled over to blogger from my previous blog home. although, it would be great if i could just sit and make that much progress in a couple days. not just yet...

random thought:

sunflowers make me ecstatically insanely happy. i love them more than any other flower. i love the way they stand facing upward. facing the infinite possibilities. ecstatically insanely happy, that pretty much sums up how i feel with the completion of my transition project, too. hence the sunflowers.

sisters, we can accomplish whatever we commit our minds, energy, focus and power, individually. imagine how much more so our collective minds, energy, focus and power. like any other muscle it must be exercised in order to be built.


SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

Mother

I love my mother. She is a brilliant and complex woman. She has survived more than most people could imagine.

In me, she planted the seeds of Knowledge and Truth.

Experience and Knowledge has fueled and increased my desire for Love, Wisdom, and Understanding. Wisdom has led me to pray for and exercise Faith.

Faith gives me Courage. Courage gives me Purpose. Purpose makes it impossible to allow myself to be distracted (for long) and Focus is born. Focus prohibits my complacency, inactivity and silence in the midst of crisis.

My ability to acknowledge, accept, respect, and fully embrace all of these gifts; lead me back to the seeds of Truth that my mother diligently planted and the consistent sacrifices she made to nurture them.

I am truly blessed and grateful. Thank you Mother. I love you.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

Sociopath I---Stay Tuned...Plain Speak is on the Way with Sociopath II...

I have been considering doing this piece for awhile. I have been hesitant only because as I stated in my initial blog-

“I, like most, would like to be well received and accepted.”

So I have thought and re-thought the idea. In the last few days I have had a couple of experiences and exchanges that have led me back to my original motivation for blogging in the first place. In doing so, I remembered the essence or focus; if you will, of my mission.

“However, more than that, I would like to speak truth into a world of life robbing lies. One of my favorite quotes is from Audre Lorde- “…and when we speak WE ARE AFRAID our words will not be heard nor welcomed but when we are silent, WE ARE STILL AFRAID so it is BETTER TO SPEAK remembering WE were never meant to survive.”

"I want to be afraid to call what is as it is, and do it anyways, always respectfully, with love, in wisdom yet nonetheless. ”

Having reminded myself of that, let’s get down to business.

As I look around me, it appears that most of us don’t know what we are dealing with. We fail to understand the nature of the threat. Furthermore, we are so distracted; God knows it is a discipline remaining focused in this life and this society particularly. I am convinced that non-stop distractions are by design. We as a society are so focused on distracting ourselves, hating ourselves, worshipping ourselves, material gain, and over-consumption---we are not paying attention to those things that are of the utmost importance.

Despite the messages, images, and vicious hateful lies that we as American women of African descent are consistently bombarded with; we must embrace this truth:

Africa is the cradle of civilization. African women are the mothers of humanity. Our strength, determination, unique unparalleled beauty, and resilience is expressed fully and symbolized by our DNA coiled hair.

It is for this reason that the powers that be are tenaciously and unyieldingly assaulting, denigrating, degrading, and destroying the images and humanity of American women and girls of African descent worldwide.

Know the truth and it shall make you free my sisters. Love, accept, and respect yourselves and claim your power in the process.

Sisters, powerfully, knowing what and who you are dealing with is the difference between freedom and oppression. When you under estimate your opponent you only disadvantage yourself. Likewise, when your opponent under estimates you, they disadvantage themselves. Read the following and ask yourself if it sounds like anyone you know? Individual people? Collective groups of people? A collective group of people?

Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning

They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying

Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt

A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions

When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability

Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle

Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution.

Changes life story readily.

Other Related Qualities:

Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)
NOTE: In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder" in the DSM-III and DSM-IV. Some critics have complained that, in the attempt to rely only on 'objective' criteria, the DSM has broadened the concept to include too many individuals. The APD category includes people who commit illegal, immoral or self-serving acts for a variety of reasons and are not necessarily psychopaths.

THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY:

These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable. First, to recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind.

(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling the truth about anything.

(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace.

(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem, it is always someone else's fault.

(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed.

(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They have no empathy for others and are capable of violence. Under older psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a superficial social facade.

Sisters, I did not make this up. I am simply sharing it. Truth is not told, it is realized. Realize for yourselves the truth that our strength is in our differences. We need each other! We have and are everything we need to make the transformation. The world-our children; need the understanding, courageous, wise, faithful, loving (for self first and then others), healthy, powerful, strong, accepting (for self first and then others) focused, purposeful, self-determined, self-defined, respectful (for self first and then others) glorious, bountifully blessed us. Look around-all over the world- the message is loud and clear…

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

Grant Me Patience Lord-But Hurry!

It has been awhile since I have posted; for a host of reasons.

My silence has been mainly, because I have felt more compelled to listen, rather than speak. My voice has been lifted to thank those who have blessed me with encouragement, inspiration, wisdom and a different perspective. To you all, I say thank you again. I pray that in time I will be all to you, and others, that you have been to me. I love, respect, and honor you all. In my listening I have learned. I have been able to challenge my natural inclination to see things a certain way.

Recently, I have questioned myself and reflected on whether my views are idealistic, naïve, and focused in areas that will only lead to disillusionment, disappointment, and ultimately loss of joy. No really, I am not just being dramatic. Granted, I do have the tendency to be just that, I can freely admit. Nevertheless, these possibilities have dominated my thoughts.

As a part of the New Year, I have a habit of reflecting and goal setting- not that they always stick- it is my ritual all the same. It is my practice to evaluate my direction as well as examine my relationships-business, personal, and spiritual. In doing so this year, I realized that I have been consistently nurturing relationships that are one-sided at best. Not only have I been doing this, I realize that I have indulged these relationships for years.

Coming out of 2007, I am happy to report that I have been able to get my love and professional life on track. Whew!!! Let me rest in that major victory for a moment. It thrills me to report this! It has truly been a long time coming. I am so thankful.

As I turn my attention to my other relationships, I realize that there are areas that require my attention and a different approach. I have people in my life that suffer from such chronic self loathing and the side effects that accompany the condition; that my continued love of them drains me. I find myself exhausted from listening, teaching, loving and straining to be patient. I will freely admit that I am not, naturally, the most patient person ever created; in fact, I find patience to be an excruciating discipline-like dieting and exercising! I have a refrigerator magnet that pretty much sums it up- “Grant Me Patience Lord- But Hurry”.

Compounding my fatigue with frustration is the realization that when it comes down to it, I find myself alone to deal with whatever my struggles may be. It is me and Jesus. Thank God we constitute a majority! These same friends are nowhere to be found when I need them. I have other people in my life that have appointed themselves to “reminder” positions much to my utter annoyance. They remind me of who I used to be consistently. Ladies, if we are the same at thirty-five that we were at twenty-five, we are suffering from stunted growth. Don’t let it happen to you. I am learning to manage my reminders.

In frustration, I have wanted to shut them all out and start over. Yes, it’s like that ya’ll sometimes. But then I shake it off and consider the following:

a) If I can’t walk in patience and love with my friends, then why on earth should strangers hear me? How will I ever endure?

b) Those people in my life that really mean well and are doing the best that they know to do at this point can serve as training ops for me. Sounds weird, I know. However, as I have delved into public speaking recently, I have found there is always one child of God that will zap all of your patience in a few misguided sentences. Therefore I have decided that some of my loved ones will be my trainers and conditioners for just such occasions. How is that for turning lemons to lemonade?

c) As I look around me I know this much for sure. My message is needed. I cannot get frustrated and give up. There are too many living their lives only for their pleasure without concern for those that have gone before us and are coming after us. Should I and other like-spirited people like me do the same--- our ancestors and descendents would weep. I don’t know about anybody else, but I can’t go out like that! This life is not for the faint of heart.

d) I have decided to budget my energy. I will not give until I am drained and depleted. Instead I will point that person in the direction of great sources of energy, joy, peace, and wisdom for me and urge them to pray for inspiration and enlightenment as to what would be most helpful to them.

Okay, that is my plan for now. How does it sound? I welcome your comments, suggestions, and wisdom.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

Dear Dr. King

Dear Dr. King,

It’s been forty years since you were here. I would be greatly interested to know what you would make of the current sad state of affairs. I often wonder this about all my esteemed ancestors that blazed trails for me.

With much love, consideration and appreciation for you and your great sacrifices, I regret to inform you that your dream has become the “burning building” nightmare you feared shortly before you departed. Forgive my tendency to not mince words; however, I would most certainly like to be clear, with all due respect.

Let me start by saying, I never had the chance to resist and protest with you. This fact has been charged against me and my account several times in the last few days. I have been dismissed and informed that I am too young to have a valid opinion. Nevertheless, I am not offended, because truth be told- I don’t know that I would have marched quietly unarmed into harm’s way with you. No, in fact, I am sure that would not have worked for me. The soldier in me would not have been able to withstand the natural human response to defend myself against evil white supremacist sociopathic misguided souls. No, while I do share your Christian faith and beliefs; my understanding more resembles our white Christian brothers’ and sisters’ interpretation in some areas. I said resemble in that, unlike them, I don’t believe in being the aggressor in violent circumstances, however, I do strongly believe in self preservation and self defense. When Scriptures indicate that I should fight the good fight, I take it literally, when my opponent makes our opposition physical. Maybe I need more prayer? I will ask for forgiveness for my stance; I like to cover all bases, however it is my firm position. Furthermore, I think it less than honest to omit the fact that Pre-Mecca Malcolm X spoke in a way that I could better hear, understand and agree. I digress, please forgive me, I will make every effort to stay on point…

As I was saying it has been forty years. I attended a ceremony to celebrate your life, courage, and bravery yesterday. My purpose in attending was to honor you, your spirit of resistance and your efforts to protest white supremacy for which you paid with your life. I wanted to insure that I did my part to be sure that you did not die in vain. Dr. King, in honor of you and those of my ancestors with resistant to oppression spirits- I have committed my life to truth, love, wisdom and living with focused purpose. I honor all of my ancestors, those that I know and those that I don’t. I feel my ancestors’ presence day to day in my journey and seek to bring them no shame. I know that they paid dearly to afford me the considerable freedom I have today. I never take it for granted. I am ever conscious of the fact that we are one hundred forty years removed from physical enslavement and oppression. We are forty years removed from legislated second class citizenship, overt white supremacy and racism.

My generation now must wrestle with economic enslavement and the damaging nuances of covert white supremacy and racism. Looking at your journey, we are exactly where you left off; desperately needing to unite the country’s poor and disenfranchised. The fear and opposition to such action is just as intense and murderous as it were in your time. However, unlike when you were here, we Black folks now have to rescue ourselves from a warped, perverted version of “colorblindness”. Your dream has been misinterpreted to mean that we didn’t want our color to be seen or noticed. Of course, the penal, economic, and political systems did not get that memo and the color caste oppression system is still in full effect. Americans of African descent just can’t see each other, now. Our communities are in shambles as a result. Most of us don’t have any emotional connection to those that reflect back to us our images or to their suffering. I am truly sorry to report that fact, it must truly make you sad. I know it makes me sad that these same calloused Black folks act as if their success is based on their personal merit. I strongly suspect that when they are quiet and still they know this to be a lie. I have reached the conclusion that they have simply decided that selfishness and greed is more important than the truth; shame on them.

Dr. King it saddens me to report that we now work diligently to make others rich, sell out our dignity, value and respect for a shot at more things than we need or can possibly consume and the “American dream”. Oh, yes, the American dream has been re-vamped as well. The American dream now is to be white and/or white-like. In my journey I have personally met Jews, Asians, Hispanics, Persians, etc. that will become enraged if you challenge their assertion that they are “white”. When I was younger, I used to try to debate the topic, as I grow wiser I am content to assure them; this is America and you can be what you want to be. Our professionals, entrepreneurs, and educators for the most part devote their time, practice, and expertise to non-African American communities. As we aspire to all things white, we disrespect, hate, and reject ourselves for the whole world to witness. Of course, the most money for the spectacle is still made by Jewish and authentic white Americans. We still pay the Black Tax and have not made gains in the elimination of the white supremacist practice. Most of us will only truly exercise our right to free speech, when we are disrespecting, degrading and denigrating ourselves. In addition to that, we have new millennium Jim Crow rules of etiquette. We must never make the descendents of enslavers uncomfortable with the mentioning of their transgressions, the truth of our histories, or the continued entitlement and white skin privileges they enjoy in their presence. These rules reign, for the most part, no matter how close we profess to be to them or them to us. This widely observed unspoken rule prevents us from healing and moving forward; that and the absolute steadfast refusal to teach real American history in all public and private schools and universities; as well as make it a pre-requisite for all in order to claim to be “educated”.

We are intermarrying in record numbers these days, yet not any closer to solutions to race relations. We are diverse, with most colors represented most days, yet no closer to living as peaceful, respectful, free human beings. Of course there has always been the procreation between the enslaved and the enslavers. I am thankful to say that the forced procreation of days of old has been drastically reduced. Before you get too excited, know that the rape of American women of African descent is still virtually impossible to prove. It is still widely regarded as a figment of our imaginations. This, despite us making up a small percentage of the US population, yet still representing a disproportionate percentage of survivors of sexual assault. It saddens me to report that still fourteen year old Black girls today don’t fare any better than fourteen year old Sally Hemings of yesteryear. Only now, the alleged pedophile doesn’t resemble Jefferson, as that would cause an uproar, instead he looks more like you so he gets a pass. Did I say that white supremacy was still in full effect, topped with a healthy dollop of self loathing?

White supremacy, I said those words in my personal tribute to clarify your resistance, civil disobedience, and peaceful protest yesterday at your celebration. You would think the dream had been accomplished if you looked around the room and judged it based only on the diversity of skin color in attendance. There were African Americans, Hispanics, Asians, Jews, Indians (Indians from India- not the indigenous people of this land-the government is still refusing to honor their word and treaties with these persecuted people; gambling is making them rich and white Americans think this is “unfair” and it would only be “fair” to take great portions of their newly acquired riches as if white Americans hadn’t taken and profited enough from the exploitation of these people), and European Americans. Yet, when I did not comply with the unspoken new millennium Jim Crow rules of etiquette and dared to say that you and the freedom fighters of that era and today are resisting white supremacy and injustices born of white supremacy-the room went into an uproar. Yes, the room went into an uproar over the words “white supremacy” despite our country presently being at war or odds with pretty much every nation of color in the world. We have literally run out of soldiers. We could have two (2) more if we would go and snatch the President’s daughters out of the nearest bar and put them on the front lines. In retrospect, I wish I had said “world white supremacy” or “new world white supremacy order”. Ok, maybe not, it got pretty heated in there and I was unarmed. I know, I know Dr. King, but I told you, I believe in self defense. I think you would be proud that your efforts afforded those of us that have chosen to walk a conscious journey; the platform to walk, speak, and share the truth.

Dr. King, I said initially that it is as you have feared- we have been integrated into a burning house. Don’t be too sad. I share these facts in the hopes that you can appreciate this irony- the house is ablaze! I stand in a place in time when I can see clearly the descendents of enslavers operate in total confusion, anger, and fear. In the face of their collective corruption, greed, and wickedness toward mankind world-wide, the majority has stood silent. They have stood silent for so long in the face of world white supremacy, they too, now are threatened with and must confront injustice. We are headed rapidly into a time of white Americans experiencing a total violation of the Constitution as it relates to their white rights. Only the Americans of African descent have the basic boot camp training and centuries of experience to confront and operate around such violations. We are rapidly headed into a time when white Americans will have to experience the effect of living in a military state and country. Only the Americans of African descent have the basic boot camp training and centuries of experience to deal with such treatment. We Blacks and people of color are accustomed to and it is well documented that the military, police, National Guard, judicial system, CIA, FBI, the federal, and state governments have all worked together to deprive the community of color our Constitutional Rights and even our lives when we seek to resist the injustice of it all. In the form of the Patriot Act, white Americans have in many ways joined the ranks of Americans of African descent and nations of color world-wide. We have always been treated like subhuman criminals and suspects. Guess what Dr. King? Our white brothers and sisters don’t like it one bit and are the most ill prepared for the challenge as a result of their white skin privileges. You should hear them cry and complain at the “injustice of it all”. If it were not all so predictably pathetic, I would laugh.

Dr. King, you said it best, “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” I think those cowardly souls that knew crimes against humanity were being perpetrated and cried nonetheless, “Wait! Change is going to take some time,” have waited too long…

… I am thankful for your efforts and sacrifices anyways. I love you and pray your rest is peaceful. I am sure you’ve heard it since you departed, yet it stands repeating… job well done.


SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

I'm Not Angry...Just Conscious!...Thanks...

It feels good to be back. It has been quite a few days since my last blog. I happened to have a virus in my laptop. It took a little longer than I expected to get it repaired; I am not complaining as I understand that everyone is busy and doing the best they know how to do. Thanks Art! He does great work if anyone needs computer work or services, I will happily refer him.

Lately, I have spent a great deal of time reading, as I feel sometimes like I am on image sensory overload. I have to tune out in order to save myself. Most recently, my image consumption has been relegated to movies and documentaries. I have been unsuccessful in my effort to get through some of the movies. The stereotypes and negative imaging have been so hard to overlook. It saddens me to say that some of the productions I tried to view were vehicles to which Americans of African descent were paid handsomely to attach their names and faces. I can feed myself the excuses. They go something like this…

…“we have to eat.” “we don’t have the power to change things.” “it is just the way it is.” And on and on and on go the excuses. The bottom line is we have decided that we don’t have power and ultimately the responsibility to look out for our best interest as a people. It seems to me protecting our images would be very important. We went from peaceful citizens seeking equal rights to criminal, racial slur and expletive hurling, woman and self disrespecting people in the eyes and minds of the world community.

I am not angry, just conscious that we are presently collectively as a people a total mess; moving rapidly in the wrong direction. The objective should be to move forward and up. We are moving backwards and down. When one considers that we are now and have always been the identifiable bottom in this country, lowering the bottom is not a condition any of us can afford to relax through. So please don’t talk to me about how well educated and successful materially, a few of us are. Please. When have we ever been judged by our success stories? Furthermore, what has that to do with the masses?

When was it decided that it was to be open season of disrespect of American women of African descent? Why are prominent and popular American men of African descent so willingly lending their faces, names, and images to the assault? So I understand that the enslavers and their descendents rarely bother to see us as more than sex, buttocks, and breasts. When did the brothers decide to agree? Brothers, can you find the self respect to stand in opposition to these images and negative depictions of your women; understanding that when others seek to disrespect you they go after your mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters? Or are you powerless to stand? Would you rather “just live your lives” and marry (when you bother to marry at all) as many White, Hispanic, Asian, and other women as you can and leave us to fend for ourselves as usual? Do you “hate the ladies that make the babies”?

I quote Tupac with whom I had quite the abusive relationship through his music, before I introduced a consistency standard and quit him altogether. He was encouraging me to keep my head up and that things would get better in one song; while calling me a bitch and a ho in another. I am not angry, I just need the conscious men who refuse to sell out their dignity, self-respect, and people to stand out, speak out, act out, and come out from among our oppressors. Our survival is not contingent upon their acceptance of us. Our survival is contingent upon us loving, accepting, and respecting ourselves. Success is not how close we can be to our oppressors. We were closer than ever during slavery. Come out, look for yourself black men and see that your conscious women will allow you to lead and will follow you. We want to follow you. We just want to go in the right direction and be treated considerably and respectfully in the process.

It is a wicked white supremacist lie that informs us that we black women don’t need our men. It is a variation of that same lie that indicated we are subhuman and willing to have sex with anyone/everyone and cannot be raped as a result. I can’t stress that enough. Especially in a time when we are objectified and exploited sexually, routinely, as if we have been returned to the public auction block. Only now the auction block is the world-wide reaching media. I echo the words of Sojourner Truth, “ain’t I a woman, too?” I am not angry, just conscious that all around me there is a resounding NO! in response to my question. As such, my posture most days belies my presence in an extremely dehumanizing hostile environment.

Calling me or treating me like a bitch or a ho has made it to normal status; so much so that most young and mature women don’t know the difference between a compliment and blatant disrespect. God knows you won’t be able to recognize the difference if you expect to learn it from television or movies. It concerns me that I have to explain to my son that a white kid calling him “my nigga” is NOT the white kid trying to be “cool”, and that no my son should not “relax”, and yes he should address, correct and educate as to why it is an unacceptable practice; in the interest of self respect. I am teaching him now that life is not a popularity contest, nor is it for the faint of heart. I am challenging him now at fifteen, to decide to be a part of the solution.

This is what I deal with these days; despite so many courageously shedding blood and dying so those prominent aforementioned enslaved descendent men can show their appreciation by putting the word back into the mouths of mainstream America. This is the extreme disrespect that we have allowed on our watch of our ancestors, selves, and children so a very few buckdancing, bootlicking, self-loathing race traitors can make a lot of money. Yet one asks me why I am angry? When we treat out race traitors like royalty-to be admired and emulated- rather than with the swift severity befitting them. Like I said, I’m not angry, just conscious...thanks. How are you? What are you, conscious or no? What are you up to in your journey?

Where are the Farrakhans, Khallid Muhammads, Marcus Garveys, Paul Robesons and Ernie Chambers? Where are the Shirley Chisholms, Ida B Wells-Barnetts, Harriet Tubmans, Sojourner Truths, and Fannie Lou Hamers? Have we produced no more black men and women that will look our lying enemies in the eyes and call the truth what it is? Black men and women that can command respect, demand and create change?

What happened to the million or two million men that marched to Washington with Farrakhan? Why are they so quiet and invisible now? Have we “educated” away everyone’s testicular fortitude to speak the truth, in love, and let the chips fall where they may? Now that everyone has that “good job” is everyone afraid? Of what? Dying and suffering? People, death is a part of the life cycle; so embrace it and empower yourself to live more abundantly. Somewhere I read that one’s quality of life is directly proportionate to what they are willing to risk. I believe one can have it all when they are willing to risk it all. Considering the fact that everything you possess and do on this earth is temporal, what’s the deal? Or would you rather be a well-paid Judas in relation to our race and our ability to rise out of oppression? Is it really all about the Benjamins?

Sisters-the real deal is this: NO ONE CAN DISRESPECT US UNLESS WE ALLOW THEM. It really shouldn’t matter where you are, who you are with, or what is going on- disrespect is NEVER acceptable. We have got to stop training ourselves to miss the point. Listening to hip hop “just for the beat” and disregarding the lyrics is just that-training oneself to miss the point. Reserve the right to register your disdain by refusing to pay into the problem. The love of money is the root of all evil. We have the economic ability to shut down a lot of the disrespect that is heaped on our heads, regularly. We are just not utilizing our economic power to effect change. Don’t support, financially nor emotionally people and institutions that don’t support/respect you. Reject the guilt that everyone wants to serve you, in quadruple portions, when you need to withdraw support from someone that looks black; yet acts like a Klansman in relation to you. There are a lot of these brothers running around today.

Brothers, I am not male bashing. you all know it is true- hold yourselves and brothers accountable to act honorably and respectfully; create an attitude of disdain and disgrace for those that refuse and I will happily close my mouth on the topic as it will be a non-issue. Need I say that it would be in your best interest to do so? Again, we are not judged by our success stories.

Sisters, I strongly suggest you not take it personally, understanding that hating and disrespecting us is simply a by-product and expression of our men's total and complete self hatred. That fact notwithstanding, we shouldn’t nurture abusive relationships-physically, emotionally, or economically in the interest of self love, acceptance, and respect.

I have this thing about quotes, in case you haven’t noticed by now. I love little nuggets of wisdom that intrigue me, raise my consciousness and help me to realize the truth. The more I seek out these little pearls, the more I grow. Additionally, someone has already said something to address every pertinent issue of today. It has truly all been done before; more about that in a moment. (It is funny; I have so much to say that I can’t seem to type fast enough and my thoughts are all over the place-I will reel them in, promise!)

As it relates to quotes and irresponsible depictions of our people in movies and other forms of media, one of my favorite quotes that I think taps the nail on the head is by Paul Robeson who said this, “The artist must elect to fight for freedom or slavery.” If you are aiding in the depictions of us as pimps, prostitutes, ignorant, lazy, criminal, etc. well I understand what you have chosen. We should all be mindful of the fact, however, that both conscious and unconscious choices are choices nonetheless and we are responsible for them.

It occurred to me that I had heard it again and again, growing up. Everyone wanted to go to college so that they could “get a good job”. Congratulations! We have been successful. Some of us have good jobs and most of us are totally dependent on others economically as a result. We cower and are afraid to offend even if we are being offended. I am just as guilty. I have done it and am now done with that oppression. I have decided to free myself. I urge everyone to stop waiting for external permission. I think at this point that it would be a great idea for us to reevaluate, re-group, and change directions. We are headed in the wrong direction people. While there is no shame in finding oneself going in the wrong direction; I think it a crying shame to continue to go in the wrong direction once you know it is wrong.

Along those same lines we have to support black owned businesses. ALL businesses fall short of the mark at times. We continue to patronize them. In fact, we have devoted our time and expertise to benefiting these enterprises. It is negligent to not support black owned businesses. This practice is how we have no economic power or clout. Volunteer and lend your time and skills to a small business that needs it in the black community. Check out www.rbdusa.com. Recycling Black Dollars has a listing of black owned businesses. You don’t even have to guess. NO MORE EXCUSES, THE TIME IS NOW! Consciously choose to seek out those that look like you to give your money to-emulate that behavior. ALL other nations do it. We refuse, regurgitate the lies about Black businesses, hate ourselves, and continue to move backwards as a result. At the very least, if you have chosen not to live in a black neighborhood, you should volunteer in one, I believe. We have quite a bit of ground to cover. We have not been as focused and diligent as others.

I am tuned in to the fact that whenever and wherever there is black enterprise; it seems like we can’t wait to sell out. Selling out to large corporations is what we seem to dream of. Which leaves us with nothing; we can’t control our images, our direction, our livelihoods, destinies, nothing. Ossie Davis said so wisely, “He, who controls the image, controls the man”. With this in mind are we happier enslaved than free? It seems to be the case. Consider if others will pay you forty million ($40,000,000.00) for something how much must it really be worth? Don’t we want to own anything? What if we devoted our energies to building institutions and increasing black ownership, rather than trying to make European-Americans accept us? I think they have been abundantly clear in the last several hundred years that they have no intention of accepting us. Not to mention that it is backwards to even want their acceptance. They should really hope that we will accept them, considering their long rich consistent exploitive history and present behavior. But then again, in reading I have come across their written musings that the nigger, nigra, colored, negro, afro-american, black, African-American is really a docile, childlike, forgiving of all atrocities, stupid creature. In their collective mind we require enslavement and white control as we are perpetual boys and girls despite chronological years. I reject that notion, what about you? I am not angry, just a little on edge because our words and behavior are grossly and consistently incongruent.

So, I have given up for the time being on movies, until we screen the latest offerings for the Pan African Film and Arts Festival. This happens February 7 thru the 18th in Los Angeles. Check out www.paff.org if you will be in Los Angeles and are interested to see real, positive depictions of yourself. In the interim, I have turned my attention to documentaries. Truth is better than fiction, folks. History is better than a delectable meal. My new favorite documentaries are “Chisholm ’72 Unbought and Unbossed”. If you have not seen this documentary, I suggest you do. You will then have a pretty good idea of how the present presidential election may turn out. Whether Obama is elected or not, we are a country steeped in “tradition” and “traditional practices” or racism and white supremacy; pick the terms that you can digest.

When you see how Mrs. Chisholm’s male counterparts behaved, you will have a better understanding of what it feels like to be a black woman in this nation right now. After viewing her documentary I had the distinct impression that she would have done well to have called it “Unbought, Unbossed, Unappreciated, Unprotected and Unsupported. I have really enjoyed as well, “Journey in Black-Louis Farrakhan”, “A Time for Burning”, and “Unforgivable Blackness -The Rise and Fall of Jack Johnson”. All of these documentaries are available for your viewing pleasure at your local library. How is that for educational, entertaining, and economical? Check them out. You know, I am really not angry, just conscious that we are not honoring and respecting ourselves, our ancestors, and race. I respectfully submit to all, no would not ask me why I am angry if they were the least bit conscious. Let’s roll up our sleeves and go to work for ourselves. It is up to us! We are worth it!

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

"Heart of a Whore"

“She has the heart of a whore.”

That statement has been stuck in my craw for awhile now. In all honesty, it has robbed me of peace and sleep, at times. As a matter of fact, until I can apply logic, empathy and feel compassion for the person that made the comment, I have ceased communication with them for now; in the interest of agreeing to disagree and respecting other people’s beliefs and opinions.

This statement was made in reference to the then fourteen (14) year old American girl of African descent that appeared in the video with the male alleged to be Robert Sylvester Kelly, then thirty-four (34).

Had this comment been made by a kkklansman it would have offended me less. I expect idiocy from white supremacist idiots. If this statement was made by anyone other than one who began their journey as an American girl of African descent, it would not have impacted me the same way. The statement rendered me ill. If this is how American women of African descent feel about the molestation of our girls, is it any wonder that no one else cares?

For those of you that are not informed as to the specifics of this case- here they are:

2002- 21 counts of sexual intercourse with a minor; later reduced to 14 counts of child pornography against Robert Sylvester Kelly. In addition to those counts in Illinois, Kelly escaped 12 additional counts in Florida of possession of child pornography. Those counts were thrown out due to the illegal search that resulted in the collection of evidence (an alleged digital camera with 12 pictures of a nude underage girl, 3 showing Kelly and her engaged in sexual intercourse). Kelly has a well recorded proclivity for sexual activity with underage girls; a record that goes back as far as ’91.

’94- Allegation that Kelly married fellow singer, Alex Shipton. Both denied the claim.

’95- Alleged marriage to 15 year old Aaliyah. Both denied the claim. Proven marriage annulled after Vibe magazine published a copy of their marriage license. Additionally, Kelly has settled two (2) other suits by underage girls. And yet another woman sued him claiming he seduced her at age 16, got her pregnant, and forced her to have an abortion.

Yet, we afford him the benefit of the doubt?

Those that know me will attest to the fact that I am always looking for a way to support American men of African descent. However, as I have stated before, I have an aversion to injustice. I understand fully that American men of African descent are under fire and suffer from racist practices and laws, routinely. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is the American way and favorite past time- vilifying, criminalizing, and reducing our men to mindless sexual beasts to be hunted and caged in alarming numbers. Changing these facts and this reality is crucial to me. I am the mother of a man-child that will fight against this same plight if I don’t do my part to challenge and change the system.

Having meant and said that, let us turn our attention to this- racism is not just suffered by our males. No one gives American females of African descent any passes on racism because we are busy dealing with sexism. NO ONE. The facts are quite the contrary.

Lynching was not just reserved for black males. Oppression has not been reserved just for black males. Suffering has not been reserved just for black males. Racist depictions as mindless sexual beasts have not been reserved just for black males; in fact we could not be raped in 1897 and we could not be raped in 2007 either. There are many acquittals and thrown out cases that bear witness to these facts. We are still accused of lying and vivid imaginations whenever we find the courage to file the reports and press the charges. America’s perverted laws don’t treat us like our white counterparts either, who need great protection from the sun and everything under it; as evidenced by the handling of this tape, which allegedly (I don’t support child pornography, as such have not and will not view the tape) shows Kelly having sex with an underage girl. This child pornography will be publicly shown in court as evidence during the trial. I had to sit with that fact for a minute. WTH?!?!

As one with a keen interest in the farce known as the American Justice system (there is also a program that chronicles the unequal application of the law also called “American Justice”) I can tell you that grown consenting women have been afforded greater respect, dignity and discretion. Fourteen (14) is not an age of consent for anything in this country, please remember. There is a reason for that, can anyone say young, impressionable, lacking in good sound judgment?

There was one case in which a white woman allowed herself to be photographed with well over thirty (30) sex partners. These pictures were discreetly circulated among the jurors during her case. They were not shown in open court to all spectators. Mind you, she was an adult and the pictures were taken with her consent as a part of her swinging lifestyle. Oh by the way, did I mention that she was charged with and subsequently convicted of murder? Despite it all, she was treated with the dignity of a human being while due process ran its peculiar course.

I anticipate the “where were her parents?” question. I don’t know, but if you look at who is the mother and the father in most instances in our community- I would surmise that dad split quick (a tendency that is a by-product of slavery somewhere I read, not total irresponsibility and poor choices on his part) and mom was at work. We must get back to basics, it takes a village to raise a child; at the very least mom and dad have to pitch in and do the work. It is a lie that we black women and children don’t need our men; don’t believe it- in fact REJECT IT and all lies reserved for us. Our health and well-being mandates this course of action. Sisters, think about it, if we were intended to do it all alone- we could do it all alone.

Children, male and female, all colors, will allow you to take advantage of them. It is our responsibility as adults to insure that our children are protected from such abuse. When we fail them, we mustn’t reserve the right to blame them as well.

Interesting and infuriatingly enough, even when our male children get into the most grown up trouble, we don’t forget they are children. Sexist practices and double standards that benefit no one allow us to hold female children responsible while absolving grown men of their responsibilities.

The woman I was speaking with indicated that she did not want to see “another black man go to jail behind that slut”. She was serious, too. I can’t think of a better reason for a black man to go to jail.

My point is this; American men and women of African descent have both suffered and continue to suffer tremendously in this nation. I am not interested in sacrificing myself or silently allowing other women and girls to be sacrificed so that our men will not sustain additional negative scrutiny; particularly when they have richly earned negative scrutiny and consequences by their behavior. I hate injustice.

In light of our history, and the sexual horrors and atrocities we have sustained and continue to endure at the hands of white and black men; standing against ANYONE that does not treat us respectfully is the only acceptable behavior. Black skin does not afford you impunity, even if you are suffering racism. We all are in black skin and suffering racism.

You know, all of this would be a moot subject if the child in the video had been a little white girl. The handling of the tape in court would be different. In fact, Kelly could have been a year or two older than she and he would have received that constitutional right to a speedy trial, even if he did not want it- as he seems not to want it now-apparently vindicating himself of despicable charges of child pornography have not been sufficient to warrant his pressing for his rights to a speedy trial to date. Despite knowing full well that he has money aplenty to purchase the commodity of so-called justice- everything is for sale in America.

Had the child in that video been a little black boy, sold out concerts would be a non-issue. As a community, Americans of African descent are famously homophobic and sexist; therefore, Kelly’s alleged transgression would be seen immediately as disgusting and wrong. I submit to you that no one would have ever reached the conclusion that the man-child victim had the “heart of a whore”.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

Other Voices of Women of African Descent

American women of African descent- we have to save ourselves. We have to establish our own organizations that will protect our interests. It is no accident that no other group of women has been singled out and subjected to non-stop ridicule, degradation, denigration, and sexual exploitation; both historically and presently.

Everyone has decided that we are to be assaulted, verbally and physically. I listen to all types of music. I have to say that I have not heard other men treat their women and themselves by extension with such utter disrespect and at times hatred. Yes, other nations have a healthy dose of sexism built into their practices. However, we happily participate in this whole other extremely sick thing against ourselves, and rationalize it.

In the interest of responsibility and accountability, if you don’t stand against it and work to change it-you silently condone it!

I am ever searching for other like-minded people. In the absence of their voices I feel like I exist in a vacuum; which can be mind numbingly tiresome and quite depressing. I found an amazing website that has a lot of different voices together, www.tributetoblackwomen.com or www.tributetoblackwomen.com/blogs. Check it out. Let’s become inspired to do something to help save ourselves.

Ladies, if help was coming, it would have come by now. If the powers that be were going to stop, they would have stopped by now. It is up to us to indicate that we have had enough and make it stop. Now. Think about it. Act on it.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

We Have GOT to get to Plankton

Folks, all I can say is that it must be nice…

Imagine, what it would be like to have particles of “plastic so small it’s like plankton” be your greatest concern? He is dead serious.

I quote:

“plastic is a huge problem, it’s so small it’s like plankton”…

...“alligators can’t mate, those are the kinds of things we need to really start working on”

“that’s where you can really go and make a difference in the planet”

Make no mistake; the preservation of the planet is vital. However, it all comes back to respect. It stands to reason, those that have historically and today, demonstrated a gross lack of respect for his/her fellow man will also disrespect the earth.

If this commercial doesn’t make it abundantly clear that we have got to free/save ourselves, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know what will. Alligators’ right to mate is more important than human rights for all human beings. We have got to get to plankton.

I have been charged numerous times with being too serious. People that don’t know even know each other have described me this way. I accept that I am the common denominator. Ok, it must be true. I have heard it so frequently that I have reached the conclusion that I am a misfit. I look around and it seems to me that everything is upside down and backwards. Circumstances mandate my seriousness. I, quite frankly, don’t understand why or how everyone else is so light hearted, most of the time. But then again I did say that it is all backwards, right?

From my vantage point, standing in the light of understanding, great friends with the truth, ever prayerful for wisdom, and committed to walking in love-despite hundreds of years worth of reasons to hate; I answer the charge with the response that in the absence of humanity and freedom for my brothers, sisters, and myself I will be focused and purposeful in my quest to raise consciousness. This is the difference I would like to make on the planet.

We have GOT to get to plankton.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT

in transition...

i am new to the blogger world. blogosphere is it called? i am so happy to be here. i have explored, in an effort to acquaint myself with my new surroundings. it pleases me to say that i can insure that i am in good courageous company. in the regular world i find that increasingly difficult to do. in the blogosphere, i find there is such brilliance, knowledge, wisdom and the revived much needed spirit of activism.

with the exception of this blog, all that i am posting currently were written in december '07, january '08, and early february '08.

my need to adapt the format has been realized. alas, i accept the aversion to reading. my acceptance of change should become evident once the past blogs have been transferred from typepad to blogger.

in the interim, i hope that my uncensored thoughts will resonate and encourage others to stand, and walk powerfully in the direction of personal mental and physical freedom. best case scenario, join me in my intent to take as many others with them as possible...

self love~self acceptance~self respect

Why I Hike?---Team S.I.S

My blog mentor, Jasmyne Cannick, has a weekly hike that happens at Runyon Canyon in Hollywood, affectionately named Team S.I.S. Jasmyne has lost a tremendous amount of weight recently. I am so proud of her! I support her because I love her. She is my sister. I encourage her to continue her commitment to a healthy lifestyle. A documentary is currently in the works for the group Team S.I.S. As a part of the documentary, I was asked the question today, in an interview “why do I support the weekly hike?”

My interview response was a knee-jerk, off the cuff answer. The thoughtful response has been bouncing around in my head. It is as follows:

I hike because I love black people. We are some of the warmest, most beautiful people on the planet. Our natural flavor is often imitated but never duplicated. Recently, love found me and I relocated to Valencia. Suffice it to say, I don’t see myself that often in my new neighborhood. Oftentimes, when I do, they are in an interracial relationship and colorblind which means they can’t see me. Definitely can’t speak to me. Ok, don’t cry for me. I am responsible for my choices. I have love. I am happy. Most importantly, my man and I have decided to buy elsewhere. We are moving to Blacktopia, with black people everywhere, we have decided. I am looking forward to it. In the interim, I miss black people, terribly. So I hike weekly to get my black folk fix, for now.

I come out and support the hike because I am an American woman of African descent. Somewhere I read that women were the niggers of the world. Gloria Steinem? Yoko Ono? I really can’t remember. I tend to focus on the truth not so much the messenger. Logic leads me to the conclusion that American women of African descent are niggers squared. For the most part our humanity and womanhood is validated by no one. Not even our male counterparts in a lot of cases (Brothers, I am not male bashing, just speaking the truth- I am your ally for change). Unless we are doing our best white woman impersonation we don’t even fit the accepted, unchallenged description of “beautiful”. No one else on the planet has our unique exquisitely beautiful hair. Yet, most of us engage relentlessly in a futile battle with our hair. White supremacy and politics of hair, has taught us that when worn naturally, our hair is ugly or dreadful. Furthermore, we need a mix with something other than black or African blood, in order to make our hair (and skin for that matter) “good”. Really? WTF!!! The politics of hair is another blog for another day. The bottom line is this- if we do not validate ourselves, we will walk our whole journey invalid, hating ourselves. We have been sold and have bought so many lies for so long.

The truth of the matter is everyone imitates our beautiful rich color, our exquisite features and our full curves. On other women these same attributes are described as beautiful, yet on us there is negative language- “ghetto booties”, “thick lips”, etc. The language used to describe us and our beauty is negative and designed to break us down. The language has never been designed to build us up. Think about it. Porcelain and pasty can both be used to describe white skin. Since the intent is to build up the white woman and put her on a pedestal, she is described as having porcelain skin. As a result of centuries of external and internal negative talk, digested lies and poison ingesting; loving and taking care of ourselves is the exception rather than the rule.

I hike because somewhere I read that the average American woman of African descent’s dress size is 22. We are devalued and rejected by ourselves and others. We are lonely and eating ourselves to poor health and early death. It is our responsibility to save ourselves. No one else can or will. I am committed to living a healthy, happy life. It is for this reason I am not a size 22. Make no mistake I have engaged in very unhealthy relationships with food. (I have also nurtured my share of unhealthy relationships with people as well-different blog!) Just as those other women in unhealthy relationships with food, I bore the evidence, extra unhealthy weight. So, I hike to continue to love, improve, and invest in myself as well as encourage and support my sisters that are committed to doing the same.

I hike because I love the unity as we all strive toward our common goal of getting to the top. I see it as metaphor for what we need, can, and must accomplish as a nation. We have to get ourselves to a place where we can focus on our common goals-economic independence, self-determination, political power, abundant life, freedom, abolishing now and forever white supremacy in this nation, as well as any variation of white supremacy. Let us abolish white supremacy in our nation that professes to be the “land of the free and the home of the brave”, where there is “liberty and justice for all”. We have to all do our part to stop allowing our different religions, politics, sexual orientation, sexism, classism, etc. to prevent us from uniting and saving ourselves. Our refusal to do so thus far is how/why we continue to be divided and conquered, century after century. We don’t all have to think the same way. We don’t all have to have to worship the same God. However, we should all work together in the best interest of Americans of African descent without fail, wherever we are.

I hike because I am determined to open myself to meet others like me that want to be the change we so desperately need. We are the most educated in history. Access to whatever is the easiest for us in history. We can boast of more Americans of African descent millionaires than ever before. Yet, collectively as a nation, we are in worse conditions than ever before in history.

We are the identifiable bottom in our society. Let us stop, re-think, and re-evaluate our priorities. Let us use our education, skills, talents, and gifts to build up and save our collective selves. Let us stop selling our souls for stuff. Truly, the love of money is the root of all evil. We love money more than we love ourselves. If we look at who those with the most money are marrying- we are not even keeping many of our financial gains as Americans of African descent.

We must stop measuring our success by how close we can be to the descendents of our enslavers. If we are with descendents of our enslavers, and by-gones are truly by-gones, will they help us without controlling, dictating, perverting, and thwarting our efforts to heal ourselves of their historical transgressions? I have searched throughout history for support of the possibility of their “help”. At this point, I say emphatically no!!! to the notion.

I have reached the conclusion that if descendents of enslavers could help us, they would not- as it is not in their best economical interest. Descendents of enslavers are vigilantly acting in their best economical interest, even if they have to render other human beings savagely inhuman to do so, while encouraging and at times demanding that we not act in our best interest.

I get it; our continued enslavement is highly profitable to them. Our historical oppression is how enslaver descendents boast of being a “super power” today. Despite the fact of my statements, I know that there are many of you that disagree. I say, don’t take my word for it, READ. When you see writing anywhere, READ IT! If it is very small print, READ IT TWICE. Enslavers and their descendents do the damndest things and write them down.

I hike because those that hate themselves refuse to discipline and better themselves. I was told once, that “if you want to hide something from a nigger, put it in a book”. I decided then, that I was committed to knowing, embracing and loving the truth. I decided that I would be a free, self Ioving, self accepting, and self respecting human being. I have recently decided that I will also speak and share the truth in love and wisdom with whomever will listen. Anything less is selfish, irresponsible, and unacceptable.

Enslavers and their descendants’ perverted laws have never served nor protected us. Whenever we figure out how to make their perverted laws work for us, they change them. Yet, we continue to do the same thing, century after century –trust that they will stop their successful oppressive ways, they don’t- yet we expect different positive results. My message and focus is not about them. To their credit they are if nothing else, consistent. To our detriment, death, and destruction we are consistent as well- trusting that change will come.

My message and focus is about us loving, accepting, respecting, and empowering ourselves enough to save ourselves. Change will come when we bring it about. Faith without works is dead. After one of our recent hikes, a sister indicated that she wanted to lose ten to twenty pounds. The question was asked, “What are you doing to lose the weight?” Her response was, “nothing”. Again, faith without works is dead.

I am not advocating anything other than love. Love of self. I am simply advocating self preservation, which is the first law of nature. Once we do for self what needs to be done to get healthy and free; our relationship to other nations that are abusive (violating our human and constitutional rights- relentlessly exploiting us) will be like a healthy woman’s relationship to her previously abusive husband with whom she has children. I use this analogy only because in the absence of children there would be no relationship where there has previously been abuse. There would be no point in maintaining a relationship, in my opinion.

We as Americans of African descent will always have relationship with descendents of our enslavers. We are all Americans. This is our home. In another land we would be foreigners. Oftentimes, we are related by blood to the descendents of our enslavers, without choice historically and with zest presently as it is en vogue. Furthermore, in the human race they are our children, understanding that Africa is the mother of civilization.

This is why we must insist on dual accountability in our relationships with ancestors of enslavers. Don’t ask me why I am angry with your collective inhumane historical and on-going behavior. Why don’t you go and determine why you, descendents of enslavers, insist on insidious, inhuman white supremacist behavior. Get your scientists busy with that subject. Study yourselves and do your work. Determine what you can do in your individual journey to effect change, and dismantle the evil system that renders you wealthy but inhuman, unhappy and deathly afraid of everyone that is not like you.

In our relationships with the descendents of our enslavers we should be cautiously optimistic that they are doing the work on themselves. However, because we love, respect and cherish our new healthy lives and selves so much, we will not tolerate any lapses into unhealthy behavior.

Ladies, with self love and self acceptance, we could free ourselves of the bondage of hair weaves. Consistently wearing them reinforces the notions of white supremacy. We wear them relentlessly to cover the shame, displeasure, and hatred most of us feel with our natural hair. It is our misguided effort to feel accepted and beautiful.

While our exotic beauty is mocked and rendered inferior, we weaken ourselves emotionally and financially. Think about, if we chose to love, accept, and respect our natural selves and reject hair weaves; we could free up one billion dollars annually. Think what we could do with these financial resources. The Koreans would be upset, but they would have to deal with us respectfully. We have the power right now to save ourselves. We have the responsibility to save ourselves, right now.

If you choose to wear a hair weave, we should reap the bulk of the economic benefits. We must economically benefit from us. We must learn how to provide these goods and services to ourselves. Anything less is ignorant; when one behaves and is perceived as ignorant and inferior, one is often treated disrespectfully, ignorantly, and inferior.

I hike because after one hike, a sister that I encouraged in her walk to the top, likewise blessed me with this truth- we as American women of African descent are taught, and therefore consistently seek to reach outside ourselves for “it”. The truth of the matter is that WE ARE ALREADY IT.

Sisters, please feel free to e-mail me at focusedpurpose@yahoo.com. I welcome your feedback. I want to connect, organize, and act to save ourselves and those coming after us. We owe it to those that did it for us, our daughters, sisters, nieces, and ourselves.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT