Wednesday, November 5, 2008

if i were a boy...a.k.a. male privilege

i must confess, i have found Beyonce hard to stomach at times; in fact most of the time.

the sole reason for this assertion is that i cannot listen to music and tune out the messages. i cannot watch videos and discount the power of images. i listen to lyrics/words. i pay attention to images. i respect the truth that words are powerful and can give both life and death to the speaker as well as the listener. i honor the fact that a positive image can build you up and a negative one can tear you down---if you allow it. additionally, i have trained myself to pay attention. so it has been impossible to tune out the bootylicious, freak 'em dress, upgrade, sugar momma lyrics/images that she has jiggled, bounced, and gyrated her way through. i have felt neither entertained, amused, nor proud. being decidedly heterosexual, i haven't felt titillated either; there has been no appeal whatsoever.

i haven't really bothered to address this issue before. it has been my experience that when women make any effort to hold other women accountable for their words and/or (mis)behavior, we are oftentimes met with accusations of "hating" or "jealousy". so i had very politely turned her off and saved myself from the pollution. when she married the woman beater, who has 99 problems but a b ain't one---it occurred to me that she would have no choice but to get a clue in due time.

so i was sitting on the parking lot, a.k.a. the 101 freeway:-) when i heard this song...

If I Were A Boy - Beyonce

...and it made me think. thanks at last Beyonce.

i thought again about the fact that we hold great power ladies. we frequently choose to foolishly relinquish it. we possess the power to change our worlds. we must strive to become better wiser women each day. in addition to doing this for ourselves, we must take the time to help a girl get these nuggets as well---it just may save her life.

you know, now that i think of it, Joe sang about the same thing..

ok. that was for me. i told you i was decidedly heterosexual:-)

back to my original point...

...reciprocity saves lives and time. check for reciprocity. demand reciprocity. settle for nothing less than reciprocity in our lives. reciprocity is the best way to neutralize male privilege, i think. what do you think? share if you feel so inclined.



Khadija said...

Yes!!! You're back!!! {much rejoicing in the realm}

Yes, "reciprocity saves time and lives." I'm also impressed with how focusing on reciprocity enables one to quickly zero in on what's wrong with any particular interaction. That's why I'm such a big fan of the concept & practice of it.

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

Anonymous said...

And this is a Beyonce song. Are you serious? Miss Jiggle Butt bootylicious or whatever the heck else they call her. Well... go figure.


focusedpurpose said...


i have begun the practice of cutting the vampires, youth suckers, and leeches. quick! i have also let them know when they inquire that there is a lack of reciprocity. the huh? with which i am met, cracks me up. reciprocity=freedom and abundant life. we owe it to ourselves to claim and seize it!


my sentiments exactly. i think her choice for a life partner has to do with her awakening. i haven't heard any of her other new songs yet. time will show if this particular song was a fluke. too soon to know for sure. i give her props for that particular song and video though. if you listen and watch closely the words and images are truly worth the price of admission.

those that engage in such behavior are truly just...boys. women need MEN in order for there to be balance and workability.

thanks for visiting.

blessings to you both,

Anonymous said...

I heard this song the other day and I couldn't believe it. This is actually Beyonce. There is a line in the song about how she would be a better man if she were a boy. I'm sorry... anybody else I can buy this from but not her. If she were a boy, she would be exactly the same type of guy she disparages in her song. After all, it's exactly this type of guy she has always dressed to impress in her gold lame loinclothes and big ole Ann Margaret wigs. Now, she wants us all to believe that she has depth. Sorry, can't buy it from her.

Anonymous said...

I hate that song! It is nothing but the same old tired, bs "Boys/men are ALL that matter in the Black community/race" rhetoric and propaganda that has destroyed and CONTINUES to destroy millions of Black females young and old the world over. I am a huge Beyonce fan and I like "Put a ring on it" MUCH better. Now THAT is an empowering song for Black females!

I am tired of all the Beyonce hate. She is a Black female and we of all people should support her.

focusedpurpose said...

hi Anonymous-

we simply disagree.

i am not a fan of Mrs. Carter. i wish she would put some clothes on and stop with all the jiggling, gyrating, and silliness that she sings about.

yes, she is a black woman. no...she does NOT get my support as a sole result of that fact. i have learned the very hard way, that ALL black skin does not mean friend; or even ally for that matter. in fact, black skin will do the most damage with impunity. look around and tell me i am not onto something.

my opinion is not an expression of hate. i hate no person---takes too much energy, plus it is bad for me! hatred is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy dies. non-sense. i just don't agree with much that she expresses in her so-called music. but then, i listen to lyrics. words are powerful and she wants to upgrade folks, freak 'em dresses, bootylicious, etc. stupid. that's my opinion that i am entitled to, and you are free to disagree ALL day. when she does/says something that makes sense, i will give her props as evidenced by this post.

i am not sure how "put a ring on it" is empowering. what pretell is the "it"? i do agree black women, for our own survival must get serious about vetting mates for MARRIAGE instead of long co-habitating, baby making relationships. of course, we must also open and exercise all of our options.

thanks for the exchange. you are welcome anytime.