Wednesday, June 18, 2008

heart of a whore...a re-post

i posted this awhile back.

since r. pissy walked and celebrations have ensued (proof that the black collective is in BIG trouble!) i decided to do a re-post. i said all that i feel the first time. in light of the long tradition/history of disrespecting the humanity of black women and girls in this country; i am neither shocked nor discouraged by the verdict. it was to be expected. at least by those of us that pay attention.

"Heart of a Whore" was written after a conversation i had with a black woman. she described the child in this case that way; the child had the "heart of whore" and therefore it wasn't rape. apparently, there are black women that are only offended by baby rape. in the real sense of baby---as in infant. for me, a thirteen or fourteen year old is a baby as well and in need of our provision and protection.

the pervert also known as r. pissy walks.

are we surprised?

i, for one, am not. he chose his victim wisely.

white girl=time. black girl= entertainment in open court for all & the pied pedophile walks. (i understand that this child pornography was shown twice in open court, yet no one can understand why this young woman decided to be otherwise occupied!)

in due time, the entire black nation will crumble if we don' t all---male and female---get serious about...


here's a clue because i am a women are the mothers of our nation. our black children are the promise of our future. this is why men of self respecting nations fight to protect and provide for their women and children at all costs.

O calls out m.i.a. black fathers

this is a cross-post from Aunt Jemima's Revenge . i love Professor Tracey's fire. if you haven't visited her blog you should.

i have been waiting for O to say something relevant to my existence. i have been praying that he would make a stand and in doing so encourage other brothers to do the same. well he finally did it. check out Barack Obama Calls Out Missing In Action Black Fat...

do you think this will back fire? are black men able to hear constructive criticism from anyone? is anyone else sick with the fact that quite a few black men must have folks tell them they should respect themselves enough to provide for their women and children? do you think this call out will make a difference in the big picture?

share your thoughts if you feel so inclined. i enjoy different perspectives.

self love~ self acceptance~ self respect

Friday, June 6, 2008

a different energy...

this post has been kicking around inside of me for awhile. this post and many others actually. i will just pace myself and put it down in due time.

recent events have prompted me to pour this one out. as i seek to come to a place of healing and understanding, i realize that all i want in the end is love, peace, to be a blessing to others, protection, and the freedom to be...

...a woman.

i don't want to be a man. i don't want to carry the weight of men, women, and children on my shoulders by myself. i don't want to be disrespected at home and outside of my home. disrespect does not feel "better" when it is coming from a black person; nor is it their right as a black person to heap it on me. i have noticed that an alarming number of black men feel that they can do certain things to black women that "others" have no right to do. in fact, i have even been told this outright long before the basketball playing/coaching Thomas clown spewed this nonsense for the whole world to hear.

i have oftentimes conversed with brothers that date out and heard how much "easier" it is to "deal" with white, asian, hispanic, persian, armenian, and other women. of course, there never is consideration given as to why this might be the case. these brothers usually make these women out to be superior and us sisters inferior, deficient, lacking, and unworthy of love.

i have an acquaintance that engages in this practice regularly. his woman is from the philipines. i must confess poking holes in his arguments have been...a sport. i am retiring from the game though. no one wins. especially not me. our conversations make me sad to my soul because i know he is not alone in his sentiments about black women.

when i point out that he is going through the same thing he did when he dated sisters, that he seems to have lowered his standards (which he admits because "black women are queens" and therefore the standard must be higher for us not for the women he is bypassing us to get to???), and why is it ok for her to have so many children? there is always silence and then we don't speak for awhile.

it is true though. somehow the same thing just feels better it seems when it is coming from someone that doesn't look like him? i guess. honestly, i can't devote too much energy to trying to figure it out anymore, it doesn't serve me in the long run so why bother? nor will i be used to provide too much sister comfort i have decided.

of course, i do see that this approach is used to justify choices. in truth, i find it hurtful on some level and wish there was a way i could plug the ears of every sister so she wouldn't hear it and feel as if there was something wrong with her. after all black women are consistently bombarded with messages of our need to change something about who we naturally are.

@ the end of the day, i want to live well and i want my mothers, sisters, and daughters to do the same. period.

most recently i came to the conclusion that black men don't belong to black women. this truth in and of itself was virtually impossible for me to accept for some time. in fact, i firmly believed that it was deliberate that men and women of all colors were created; if God wanted everyone to be beige, he could have just created that! i was in fact, indignant in my belief. lol!

i no longer believe that it matters what color love comes in for black women and girls. in the face of the open hatred, disregard, disrespect, record violence and contempt quite a few black men hold for black women---especially for those of us that you cannot see white or other in our hair and features---holding onto that belief will only bring us loneliness and grief. in fact, as i follow the stories that don't make the news, holding onto the notion that love has to be in black skin will get you...killed.

this folly definitely won't work, it seems, in my quest to secure a happy, healthy, whole life; in addition to helping other black women and girls find the same. so i am done with it. i urge my sisters to be done as well. quickly.

black women do not belong to black men. as options are exercised by black men to do what they feel is in their best interests---black women must do the same. we must do this in love, politics, economics, etc. we have these same options available to us; oftentimes, moreso, as quiet as it is kept. we simply must begin to explore them without asking permission or allowing others to stop us with fear tactics. it seems to me that as we function as mothers and fathers in our "community", that we run the risk of being sexed and disrespected from everywhere and by everyone. loving, accepting, and respecting ourselves will shield us. we can protect ourselves by practicing these qualities as we give ourselves the freedom to be...women...loved...provided for...and protected. we must give love and show support for only those that love and support us.

it seems only black women are expected to change ourselves into perfect beings before we can have these things. all other women on the planet are allowed to be flawed human beings and still have love, protection, and provision. i reject this notion that i am not worthy of the same for my journey and i urge my other sisters to do the same, immediately, for their sakes. do not be surprised when you must resist other women that will have you believe that this is how it was meant to be for black women.

in reading i came across an interesting essay by Aimee @ Black Girls Rule! called Reinterpreting Wesley Snipes . this sister takes the post that has been kicking around in me for awhile now and puts it down very well. she has done the work of expressing what i am sure many of my sisters are beginning to feel, strongly, so i will give her props and say well said! my sentiments exactly!

check it out. what do you think? share your thoughts if you feel compelled they are always welcome.


Thursday, June 5, 2008

sisters, let's check our order of priority...

Quote of the Day

"What I notice about men, all men, is that their order is me, my family, God is in there somewhere, but me is first.... And, for women, me is fourth, and that's not healthy." [emphasis added]

-- Michelle Obama, 2004, Chicago Tribune

i have decided that for my journey, i will always put God first and i will run a close second no matter what or who. i have tried it the other way and it does not work for me. at all.

in the coming days i am hopeful to see more of this sister. i know she has children and a career in addition to an ambitious husband...i pray she finds the time to be more visible. in doing so, i will be afforded the opportunity to change my mind about her husband. with her visibility will come the heat and his chance to demonstrate that he has developed the ability to take a stand. i am hopeful that when the black male collective sees this brother take a stand they will find the courage to do the same.