Wednesday, May 28, 2014



the only way to explain it.


in the Spiritual realm.

in the physical realm,  currently finding myself in the midst of yet another push...

which is what one must do, in order to continue to put one foot in front of the other.  it is a push, in order to walk in Faith.

this is where Time finds me presently- and i AM Grateful to be here Boldly.  'cause He told me clearly in His Word that all things work for the Good of those that Love Him and are called according to His Purpose.

He also told me to be Bold and Mighty forces would come to my aid.

and over 'round this way, folk are just "crazy" enough to Believe Him/His Word.  back home they call it slightly "touched".  lol.  i would say a total "basket case" for Him.

clarification:  i got jokes.  don't come knocking on my door.  nor do i need any meds;)

it is nothing new really, to be misunderstood.  i'd explain...

but why bother?

the haters will still hate + motivate.  and it will still be time to walk by Faith.

so here we are +  let's go!


folk need to pump the brakes on that a bit.  the patience, but hurry approach, might be because He gave me very strong opinions.

after reading this:

"Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes."- Voltaire

i AM doing my best to tweak the delivery a bit.

head strong, strong opinions= a lot to handle.  and everybody is not strong enough to handle it.  i AM with Him/His Word and i want what He wants.  which is for none to be lost, church of Philadelphia style.  that goes for me, first in my book;)  the folk that are quick to think i AM "judging" them need to know this.  i AM acutely aware that i would be the last candidate for this gig.  lol.  but then my Father is a trip.  He tickles me, when i slow it down and look to Him. 

though fo' sho, folk would do well to know,  i AM not trying to please anyone other than Him.  especially since the nonstop conversations He and i have can't be seen by anyone watching from the outside.

believe that.    

though it does not help that in my impatience, i sometimes get ahead of Him;(

slow me down Yah Almighty.  i  pray for triple portions of Patience in Messiah's Name.  for me and anybody else that needs it. especially since Love is Patient, kind and a whole host of other things, i am not naturally.  it does not strike me an accident, that the Bible definition of Love starts with the Patience directive.  though it is a push to be Love in the face of open tests.
somewhere i read also that Patience is the companion of Wisdom.  i promise to Goodness, it is my wish i could blink my eyes and have a grip of it! 

if i had to attach an image to what my slow me down moments look like...

here it is:

  like He needs my help in His Show;(

True Fool moment indeed.

eternally Grateful AM i for His Mercy, Grace and Protection.

prayerful from my soul that the Spiritual snafus/boo boos don't cause others to fall nor waver in their belief.  for the very possibility, i ask forgiveness.

He said done;)

below is not much better, yet i stand guilty at times.  not sure if anyone else can relate.  nevertheless, sometimes there i AM.  looking like this:

  'cause He really does not need my help.

He's got this!   calm it on down.  this is not your battle.

the upside...

Spiritual mess ups = great humility opportunities.  He chastens those He loves, as it is written.

i AM Grateful.


through it all, time with Him/His Word invariably leads me to others that have felt precisely as i feel at times.

though even as i wrestle with feelings...

i brush 'em off, 'cause feelings do not equal fact.

He/His Word = fact + where it's at.

there is nothing new under the sun, indeed;) 

King David surely saw days like this, as evidenced by what is written.  he was clearly feeling some kind of way at the start of this Psalm.    verse 3 finds King David (and me with Him, as i read along;) brushing shoulders off.  the rest doesn't read as "complaint" for me.  it reads as Real expression of how he is feeling at that time in history.  if you can't talk to Almighty about it, who can you talk to?

the whole passage together reads as a Right quick Spiritual re-group, if you will.

a reminder that prior to birth...


the only one that can break US...'cause He's the One that made US...

+ built US...

to Stand Strong in Him/His Word.

come what may + come as you are.

my fervent prayer is that none of US be lost.  particularly when there is a church of Philadelphia, Revelations style;)  i pray that my missteps don't cause a loss of faith for others.  though i strive to be perfect...

i land faaaar away from the mark.



nevertheless, for me, pretty much nothing can shake me from Him/His Word.  

full stop.

and so i push.

if i had to image King David...

he would look like this:

felt compelled to share a Psalm of King David, spoken across from my heart.  may all that Almighty compels to Him, be encouraged, as i AM by the beautiful words.    



KJV Psalm 22: 1-31 

1   My Almighty, my Almighty, why hast thou forsaken me?  why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?

2   O my Almighty, I cry in the daytime, but thou hearest not; and in the night season, and am not silent.    

3   But thou art set apart, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.

4   Our fathers trusted in thee:  they trusted, and thou didst deliver them.

5   They cried unto thee, and were delivered; they trusted in thee, and were not confounded.  

6   But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and the despised of the people. 

7   All they that see me laugh me to scorn; they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying,

8   He trusted  on the Sovereign that he would deliver him:  let him deliver him, seeing he delighted in him.

9   But thou art he that took me out of the womb; thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother's breasts.

10  I was cast upon thee from the womb:  thou art my Almighty from my mother's belly.

11 Be not far from me; for trouble is near;  for there is none to help.

12  Many bulls have compassed me;  strong bulls of Basan have beset me round.




13  They gaped upon me with their mouths, as a ravening  and a roaring lion.  

14  I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax' it is melted in the midst of my bowels.

15  My strength is dried  up like a potsherd; and my tongue cleaveth to my jaws; and thou hast brought me into the dust of death.  

16  For dogs have compassed me:  the assembly of the wicked have inclosed me;  they pierced my hands and my feet.  

17  I may tell all my bones:  they look and stare upon me.  

18  They part my garments among them, and cast lots upon my vesture.  

19  But be not thou far from me, O Sovereign: O my strength, haste thee to help me. 

20  Deliver my soul from the sword, my darling from the power of the dog.  

21  Save me from the lion's mouth:  for thou hast heard me from the horns of the unicorns.  

22  I will declare thy name unto thy brethren:  in the midst of the congregation will I raise thee.  
23  Ye that fear the Sovereign, praise him; all ye the seed of Yacob, glorify him; and fear him, all ye the seed of  Israel.  




24  For he hath not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; neither hath he hid his face from him; but when he cried unto him, he heard.  

25  My praise shall be of thee in the great congregation:  I will pay my vows before them that fear him.

26  The meek shall eat and be satisfied:  they shall praise the Sovereign that seek him:  your heart shall love for ever.  

27  All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the Sovereign:  and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before thee.

28  For the kingdom is the Sovereign's:  and he is the governor among the nations.  

29  All they that be fat upon earth shall eat and worship:   all they that go down to the dust shall bow before him:  and none can keep alive his own soul.  

30  A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Sovereign for a generation.

31  They shall come, and shall declare his righteousness unto a people that shall be born, that he hath done this.  


i AM fully persuaded. 

and so i push in Faith, as we head on into...




Sunday, May 25, 2014

that He/His Word might get the Glory.

i Love music.  it is Powerful and reaches/teaches my very soul.

beautiful Yolanda Adams has been used to bless me on too many levels to go into right now, as i press on towards the mark.  He plays her music crystal clear in my spirit- when i need it most.   i Love Him/His Word.  in fact, i am in Love with Him/His Word.

wrote in greater depth here:

after an epic fail earlier today to embody these wisdom nuggets:



KJV Proverbs 16:32- He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

KJV Proverbs 25:28- He that hath no rule over is own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.


in keeping with the words of the song from the archived post above, i truly pray from my soul that He will take away any and all things He sees in me that displease Him.  my desire to change is there.  when tested, some days produce better results than others.  this is the pitiful Truth.  despite my wanting things to be different.

my prayer for all of mankind, in Messiah's Name, is that we will be able to overcome whatever challenges face us.  that we will all turn our hearts to Him/His Word.  that we will all turn away from the many distractions/deceptions of this dark and dying world, that seek to deceive and enslave us.

Almighty Yah is an AWESOME King of Kings!

it is my fervent prayer that He will slow me down... 

my take away from today, and i share it across- never down- is written in the words of songs.  who would i be to speak down?  in Messiah's Mighty Name, i pray that all souls are blessed and encouraged to press on.  clutching their crowns + praying without ceasing.  believing Him/His Word over all we think we see:

a double up confirmation, using the beautiful Yolanda Adams,  are the songs He saw fit to put in my Spirit today.  felt compelled to share with those that witnessed the exercise in how not to be...which truly grieves me to my soul:

then there's this song which is what i pray for humanity more than anything on the planet.  it brings me to tears each and every time i hear it:

may we all be wiser and increased in patience-especially me, who clearly needs it more than most folk- as we head on into...


Saturday, May 24, 2014

for those that think they know...clarification...


while i work on the internal spiritual simmer i got going on.

working diligently to stand down the wrath that keeps roaring to stand up...despite wrath not being a fruit of the spirit i would like to bear...

it seems folk have reached the conclusion they are witnessing "weakness", "fear", or the desire to "quit".

this is fine.

for those that seek to genuinely encourage and uplift, please know the following...

Momma gave me the below nuggets of wisdom on a plaque, way back before i hit chronological age in the double digits.

i don't know who wrote it, otherwise i would give credit.

folk need to know...

the words below best speak to where i AM...

not sure if it is from sheer rebellion against those that try to force me to stand down.  i would like to say it is pure Love.

that would be for me to lie though.

i have no Love for my enemies.   none that comes naturally.  nor am i fake enough to pretend otherwise. 

what i do have is the desire to be in Obedience to Him/His Word.  as such i pray for my enemies-through clenched teeth at times, while i work diligently on feeling true Love for 'em.

meekness is not easy.  nor does it come naturally for me, and that's the Real.

Truth be told...there is no good little saint that's been that way all their little life over this way.  over here there is only a rank sinner...

saved by His Mercy and Grace and even that feels a whole lot like just barely- most days.



when things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill.
when the funds are low, and the debts are high
and you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
when care is pressing you down a bit,
rest if you must, but don't you quit.

life is strange with its twists and turns,
as everyone of us sometimes learns, 
and many a failure turns about, 
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
don't give up though the pace seems slow, 
you may succeed with another blow.

success is failure turned inside out.
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and you never can tell how close you are, 
it may be near when it seems so far; 
so stick to the fight when you are hardest hit, 
it's when things seem worst
that you must not quit.




when i cry it is to cleanse my soul.  somewhere i be conscious is to be in a constant state of rage.  Truth.  only He/His Word helps this condition.  defeated devils and souls caught in snares would do well to know this.  

then there is this, as it relates to defeated enemies...



Deuteronomy 3:2-And the Sovereign said unto me, Fear him not:  for I will deliver him, and all his people, and his land, into thy hand...


defeated devils got my ire up. 


been praying for days that Almighty will see fit to take my wrath away...

keeping silence until i AM able to speak in keeping with Him/His Word. 

then i spoke and promptly failed;( 

it seems i am in the season of apologies.  i pray from my soul, in Messiah's Name, for better restraint and judgment as i am tested.  

though it must be said- folk invading my privacy might well get the kitchen table straight talk.  i.don't.own.that.  this is why it is best to mind your own business;)  peeking and eavesdropping will most certainly reveal tmi.  


i said it.

meant it too.

though i didn't choose it.  i AM grateful for it...knowing that Almighty's ways are Higher than my ways.  His thoughts Higher than mine can ever be.  having ALL Faith that He will lead me on out, having NOT brought me this far to let me fall.  on the other side of the test, this is the measure of my Faith...

as we head on into...


Tuesday, May 13, 2014

happy birthday B...wishing on a star...

22 years ago...

on Mother's Day, no less...

the labor pains began.   2 days later i saw + held him;)

in many ways...

the labor pains never end.

no one ever tells folk that nugget of Truth.

then we see: 

and forget all about the pain.

Truth be told...

it doesn't really matter how big the baby gets to be...he remains the baby...on some level.

at least this is the Love i carry for my baby.

my son.

my Love.

who was the answer to a prayer i prayed as a little girl.  'cause i always knew i wanted a son.

asked Almighty for a son, with the promise that He could have him back.

Father, he is now in your Strong, Capable, Mighty Hands.

  my beautiful chocolate drop...

that made then and even now, my heart stop.  how beautifully and marvelously was he made.

ALL Praise to Yah Almighty!!!

my chocolate drop that i over his total horror and chagrin.

not to mention that i made many, many, many mistakes- looking back- along the way.  i was younger at his birth...than he turned today. 

Truth be told- these mistakes haunt me to this a major way.

so in between crying, fighting within + dying again and again- i told folk- the labor pains never really end.

through it all- still i pray, for Almighty to have His Way...

which means that He will save the day;)

'cause that is my prayer + what is written:


KJV Romans 8:28-31 

28   And we know that all things work together for the good to them that love Almighty, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

29   For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

30   Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called:  and whom he called, them he also justified:  and whom he justified, them he also glorified.  

31   What shall we then say to these things?  If Almighty be for us, who can be against us?


so on those days...

when surely my chocolate drop looks this way: 

at me.

annoyed for my worry, nagging, and persistently "bothering" him.

when he simply seeks to be his own man + free...

i pray Almighty will lead, guide and protect him.

while i follow my path + wish on a star...

son, i pray, in Messiah's Mighty Name that you are happy.  i am and have always been very proud of you.  my Gratitude to Almighty for you cannot truly be expressed in words.

you were born for greatness with a huge heart.  may Almighty sit on the throne of your heart, all the days of your life.  may you seek His Face and to serve Him...wherever your path takes you.

i Love you more than these words can ever convey and pray you know this Truth if you know nothing else.

that is my prayer, as your mother, from my soul.

thought i would share it, on your B day... 

 as we head on into...


ps.  i would like to acknowledge the nameless soul that inspired me to be so  candid + naked before the world.  to write this post from my heart to the Love of my life here on planet earth.

thank you for the inspiration and i hope that you're more flattered than anything else;)   

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Stand Strong, King...some of US...see.

this has been on my mind...

had to take a few moments to pray, ponder + heed this:



Job 6:24 - Teach me, and I will hold my tongue:  and cause me to understand wherein I have erred.

Proverbs 16:32 - He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.



i LOVE Almighty AND His Word!!!  for He truly speaks to His through His Word.  He truly delights in revealing His mysteries to those that seek Him + ask...

i AM  a witness.

listening too closely to devils, gave me cause to pause and over-think a few things.

this is all bad...

+ wrong.

i ask Almighty to box me in, that i can't get in my own way too much.  i ask Messiah even to pray for me that i might do what i AM called to do...that He/His Word might get the Glory.

and because i ask...He/His Word gives freely;)

even now i pray for a triple portion of Patience.

Patience with all others...

and myself.

that said, it occurred to me after posting this initially, that i should double back and say:

my prayers go out to all mentioned in the post.  there is hatred for no one, in my words.  i AM with Him/His Word and want what He wants, which is that none of His be lost.   Galatians 3:28-29 style.  

so this king was in the "news", before my moments of silence + listening:

ps.  Messiah looked more like this...than the white guy folk insist on imaging.  not that it matters.  or does it?  'cause it sure seems folk LOVE the white lie + intend to grip it...

to the death.

anyhoo, i digress.

then there are other pics that clearly are not the same Blessed Black king.  but i post 'em anyways, so folk will know who i AM referencing:



okey doke?

now back to the subject of the post...

this Right here:

  that must've really hurt, how quickly folks' boys slammed the brakes on any affiliation.



i said it.

deal with it.

for those of US that see clearly...we saw when folk did the same thing with ODB- who was clearly "affiliated" with the brand.

as ODB told folk the Real...his "boy" played him to the left.

peep the game folk- check ODB's "boy"... swearing Love for those that were after + assassinated ODB- cia, fbi, those Bush cats and the federal government:

ps.  Blessed Black men are not g-d.

they are but mere men that need to humble themselves and bow down to Almighty.


full stop.

no stutter.

this is true for the haughty Blessed Black women as well.

this is true for all nations and people.

i make the distinction because i, too, at one time believed that we were g-ds/g-ddesses.  do what thou wilt without the summoning of satan.  lol!  heathen antics nevertheless. 

this is false doctrine folk.

reject it.


for your soul's sake. 



Psalm 9:19-20 

19  Arise, O Sovereign, let not man prevail:  let the heathen be judged in thy sight.

20  Put them in fear, O Sovereign:  that the nations may know themselves to be but men.  Selah.



i asked Almighty what did it all mean?

this thing that defied all logic + reason to my mind.

while the devils cackled impishly in celebration of what they perceived as victory over Almighty's followers... 

this is what He/His Word revealed to me.

+ instructed me to share here.

i pray no one takes my word for it...but will instead go to their Word and see it written there...

in red, no less;)

Get Some.



Matthew 19:11-12 

11  But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.

12  For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb:  and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men:  and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.  


to my brother...

who no doubt feels the weight of the scorn/mockery of his defeated haters, motivators, obsessed fans and the keep his name in their mouth 'cause they got so much to say 'bout him right now stans...

i urge you from my soul to Stand Strong.

it is my pleasure to stand in the gap and intercede.

hold tight to your crown king.

let no one loose you from it.

according to Messiah Himself, you are Blessed indeed.

Stand Strong like you know it king.

we all making "lists" anyways.  our list will be "those with Him/His Word + they got the Victory".  Galatians 3:28-29 style;)  Blessings for the Blessed Blacks + all nations that will come into His Strong tower.

and you know?

though the defeated enemy to our souls will lie + lie...only the dupes don't know the Real nor the the true time.

devils know Almighty + tremble.

but even the slowest poor dupes will learn in due time...when Almighty hits the earth with His Heavenly hiss.

according to what's written, which is no lie, even the slowest dupes will be hard pressed to miss it...

it would be wise for folk to bear this in mind, as they serve mammon + other g-ds.

all signs indicate we are heading on into...


this is what time it is...without apology...






obsessive fans

with no respect for boundaries- these brazen folk come into my house without permission ya'll.   hopin' in vain to silence + intimidate.


+ to my window peeping, film me while i shower stans...

all these lost souls seem to think...

i need a "makeover" + to be quiet.


so, having given it considerable thought...

'cause it could be constructive criticism packaged all wrong... 

but nope. 

it's not. 

and that Truth = ALL i got...

on the other side of considerable thought, prayer, meditation + reflection.


since folk already know there is a song.

i will let another Boss tell folk where i AM coming from- only i live for Him/His Word- not me:

"don't change so people will like you.  be yourself and the right people will love the real you."


a beautiful soul sent this to me.

it encouraged me so and i AM beyond Grateful. 

i post it here with the prayer that another soul might also be encouraged as they Stand Strong amidst turned all the way up spiritual warfare.   

side-note:  the defeated enemy to our souls and his minions are turned up to top volume.  while boldly demanding that His People/my people turn their volume/testimonies down...

or better yet...just turn the testimony + Truth telling off ...not even down. 



rejected + defeated.

how 'bout that defeated devils?

since this is how...

Almighty Yah

King of Kings

Ancient of Ancients

Sovereign Creator + ruler of ALL

and His only begotten son... my Messiah, sees me.

as such, He/His Word causes me to see myself accordingly- since i AM created in His image, as it is written + He/His Word = no lie:


why would i ever concern myself with other folks' personal business?

'cause that is what other folks' little thoughts about me =...

their personal business- which i am not in.

my Call/business is to be about my Father's business... 


+ those of US with Him/His Word- we win. 

the end;)

THAT'S what time it is for me...without apology.

as we head on into...