Thursday, November 11, 2010

DEATH of the strong black woman...

while coming to terms with the reality of being a human being, instead of a mythical lie, the strong black woman passed away

sources say she died of natural causes, but those that knew her know better. they know she died from...

being silent when she should have been shouting to the top of her lungs, smiling when she should have been raging

she died from being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them

she died from an overdose of other non-reciprocating people clinging to her when she didn't even have energy for herself

she died from loving damaged males who didn't even love themselves thus choosing to only offer her a crippled, devalued, unloved reflection

she died attempting to raise children alone

she died from the lies her grandmother told her mother and her mother in turn told her about life, black men, sexism and racism...

she died from being sexually abused as a child and choosing to take that secret truth silently everywhere she went every day of her life, exchanging the humiliation for guilt and back again

she died from asphyxiation, coughing up blood from secrets she kept trying to numb herself away from, instead of affording herself the kind of healing and support she was entitled to as a human being, but that status quo dictates only white girls could afford and deserved

she died from being responsible, because she was the only one that would be held accountable

the strong black woman is dead...

she died from being a teenaged mother, an early thirties grandmother, and a muled to death forties ancestor

she died from being dragged down and sat upon by UN-evolved females posing as "mothers", "sisters" and "friends"

she died from tolerating Mr. Pitiful Useless Low to No Value male, just to claim she "had a man" at her house

she died from foolishly choosing to sacrifice herself for everybody and everything without consideration much less reciprocity, when what she really wanted to do and be was something magnificently other

she died from bold outright lies as well as lies of omission because she allowed herself, unchallenged, to be heavily conditioned/programmed to fight to protect said lies to the bitter end in order to not "bring the black man down"

after all, general consensus is, the "black man" is more worthy of protection and provision than she

she died from tributes from her counterparts who should have been matching her efforts instead of showering her with dead words and empty songs

she died from choosing to accept lies that prevented her to show weakness or need without being chastised by the lazy and mentally hazy...

she died from hiding her real feelings until they became hard and self destructive enough to invade her mind, body and soul like malignant tumors

she died from attempting to do the heavy lifting in order to provide all by herself

the strong black woman is dead...

she died from never being enough of what black men wanted and/or being too much for the black men she wanted

she died from being too black and again for not being black enough

she died from being misinformed about her needs, mind, spirit, body and the extent of her royal capabilities

she died from knees pressed too close together because respect was never part of the "foreplay" that was being callously shoved or forced upon her

she died from loneliness in birthing rooms and aloneness in abortion centers

she died with her veins bursting open from the hatred and neglect bombarding her from all directions

and quite a few times when she refused to die, when she refused to give in, she was killed nevertheless, by the lethal non stop images of blonde hair, blue eyes, euro standards of beauty, while simultaneously being rejected, ridiculed, used and abandoned by the deceitfully duplicitous OJs, Kobes, and TOs

sometimes she was stomped to death by the racism and sexism, executed by ignorance, willful most times, while she carried, provided for, and protected the "family" in her belly, the "community" on her head, "black love" in her heart, and the "black race" on her back...

the strong black woman is dead!

or is she?

life is about choices ... i choose to let the "strong black woman" die in my life

actually, WITHOUT reservations, i deliberately killed her!

only YOU can choose what place the "strong black woman" will hold in your life...

i choose the blessings of my femininity and humanity. i choose truth, wisdom, love, peace, and light heartedness. i choose protection, provision, and safety. i choose freedom to be...without apology...the gloriously created...ME...

i ask you to seriously consider YOUR choice in the interest of...

self love~ self acceptance~self respect


focusedpurpose said...

this piece, written quite differently, was sent to me today. the original bore no credits otherwise, i would give credit.

i re-wrote it from an empowered place. there are no victims at this point as far as i am concerned. grown women are now volunteers. little girls are survivors.

help is NOT on the way. anyone suggesting otherwise is benefitting from you believing the lie. REJECT IT without apology.

interesting enough, this piece came after i received advise that i should be "silent". after praying, aka talking to God and meditating, aka listening to God; i asked for confirmation of the answer i received. clearly i was told to stand and speak in my quiet time. this message came to me with the first words indicating the fact that silence is deadly.

i will be still and silent when the last breath leaves my body. anyone that is offended will need to challenge themselves to get over it! or is about choices.

focusedpurpose said...

i meant "advice". forgive my typos. i have much on my plate, heart and to do list. writing is my way of sorting my thoughts and finding greater peace. typos and all i will continue to seek my greater peace.

tertiaryanna said...

Very powerful. Thank you for sharing this.

ValeriesWorld said...

Focusedpurpose, glad you're back and excellent post!

focusedpurpose said...

hi T and Valerie-

thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

this piece prompted me to post. i pray that it is helpful and encourages others to do away with for once and for all the notion that they must labor under the heaviness of being a "strong black woman". the "strong black woman" is more beneficial to OTHERS.


Amarie said...

Wow, a great post and I'm glad you're back too:)

Faith said...

This was very beneficial. Thanks for writing it.

foreverloyal said...

So glad you are back to blogging.

**We interrupt this blog posting for an important announcement**
The holiday shopping season is in full swing, and NOW is the time for all the supporters of BWE work to put their money where their mouths are.
Now is the time to support blog hosts by buying their books as gifts for friends (or yourself!) Now is the time to head over to and find a sista who's whipping up homemade products. Buy them as gifts.
Now's the time to buy a Rissi Palmer or Angel Taylor CD.
Now's the time to hit up Loose ID for Roslyn's latest release.
Now's the time to order homemade cookies from that sista you know who bakes up batches to sell every holiday season.
Now is the time.

Khadija said...

{happy dance}

Hi Sis!

Yes, I had noticed the rewrites to the piece as I was reading it---I love what you did with it.

Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Welcome back Focusedpurpose. I have missed reading your posts. I too have killed that strong black woman. She no longer exists to me. She is a crature of myth and legend as far as I am concerned.


La♥audiobooks said...

Hi sis, stopping by to say hello. Thanks for sharing your re-write, the truth. And that plate shall be cleared one day at a time :)

Peace and Blessings,

Anonymous said...

Powerful. Touched my soul. So true yet so difficult to get rid of all the inculcation.

Black Dating Experiment said...

Wow this poem is really powerful. thanks for sharing!