"Heart of a Whore"

“She has the heart of a whore.”

That statement has been stuck in my craw for awhile now. In all honesty, it has robbed me of peace and sleep, at times. As a matter of fact, until I can apply logic, empathy and feel compassion for the person that made the comment, I have ceased communication with them for now; in the interest of agreeing to disagree and respecting other people’s beliefs and opinions.

This statement was made in reference to the then fourteen (14) year old American girl of African descent that appeared in the video with the male alleged to be Robert Sylvester Kelly, then thirty-four (34).

Had this comment been made by a kkklansman it would have offended me less. I expect idiocy from white supremacist idiots. If this statement was made by anyone other than one who began their journey as an American girl of African descent, it would not have impacted me the same way. The statement rendered me ill. If this is how American women of African descent feel about the molestation of our girls, is it any wonder that no one else cares?

For those of you that are not informed as to the specifics of this case- here they are:

2002- 21 counts of sexual intercourse with a minor; later reduced to 14 counts of child pornography against Robert Sylvester Kelly. In addition to those counts in Illinois, Kelly escaped 12 additional counts in Florida of possession of child pornography. Those counts were thrown out due to the illegal search that resulted in the collection of evidence (an alleged digital camera with 12 pictures of a nude underage girl, 3 showing Kelly and her engaged in sexual intercourse). Kelly has a well recorded proclivity for sexual activity with underage girls; a record that goes back as far as ’91.

’94- Allegation that Kelly married fellow singer, Alex Shipton. Both denied the claim.

’95- Alleged marriage to 15 year old Aaliyah. Both denied the claim. Proven marriage annulled after Vibe magazine published a copy of their marriage license. Additionally, Kelly has settled two (2) other suits by underage girls. And yet another woman sued him claiming he seduced her at age 16, got her pregnant, and forced her to have an abortion.

Yet, we afford him the benefit of the doubt?

Those that know me will attest to the fact that I am always looking for a way to support American men of African descent. However, as I have stated before, I have an aversion to injustice. I understand fully that American men of African descent are under fire and suffer from racist practices and laws, routinely. In fact, I would go so far as to say it is the American way and favorite past time- vilifying, criminalizing, and reducing our men to mindless sexual beasts to be hunted and caged in alarming numbers. Changing these facts and this reality is crucial to me. I am the mother of a man-child that will fight against this same plight if I don’t do my part to challenge and change the system.

Having meant and said that, let us turn our attention to this- racism is not just suffered by our males. No one gives American females of African descent any passes on racism because we are busy dealing with sexism. NO ONE. The facts are quite the contrary.

Lynching was not just reserved for black males. Oppression has not been reserved just for black males. Suffering has not been reserved just for black males. Racist depictions as mindless sexual beasts have not been reserved just for black males; in fact we could not be raped in 1897 and we could not be raped in 2007 either. There are many acquittals and thrown out cases that bear witness to these facts. We are still accused of lying and vivid imaginations whenever we find the courage to file the reports and press the charges. America’s perverted laws don’t treat us like our white counterparts either, who need great protection from the sun and everything under it; as evidenced by the handling of this tape, which allegedly (I don’t support child pornography, as such have not and will not view the tape) shows Kelly having sex with an underage girl. This child pornography will be publicly shown in court as evidence during the trial. I had to sit with that fact for a minute. WTH?!?!

As one with a keen interest in the farce known as the American Justice system (there is also a program that chronicles the unequal application of the law also called “American Justice”) I can tell you that grown consenting women have been afforded greater respect, dignity and discretion. Fourteen (14) is not an age of consent for anything in this country, please remember. There is a reason for that, can anyone say young, impressionable, lacking in good sound judgment?

There was one case in which a white woman allowed herself to be photographed with well over thirty (30) sex partners. These pictures were discreetly circulated among the jurors during her case. They were not shown in open court to all spectators. Mind you, she was an adult and the pictures were taken with her consent as a part of her swinging lifestyle. Oh by the way, did I mention that she was charged with and subsequently convicted of murder? Despite it all, she was treated with the dignity of a human being while due process ran its peculiar course.

I anticipate the “where were her parents?” question. I don’t know, but if you look at who is the mother and the father in most instances in our community- I would surmise that dad split quick (a tendency that is a by-product of slavery somewhere I read, not total irresponsibility and poor choices on his part) and mom was at work. We must get back to basics, it takes a village to raise a child; at the very least mom and dad have to pitch in and do the work. It is a lie that we black women and children don’t need our men; don’t believe it- in fact REJECT IT and all lies reserved for us. Our health and well-being mandates this course of action. Sisters, think about it, if we were intended to do it all alone- we could do it all alone.

Children, male and female, all colors, will allow you to take advantage of them. It is our responsibility as adults to insure that our children are protected from such abuse. When we fail them, we mustn’t reserve the right to blame them as well.

Interesting and infuriatingly enough, even when our male children get into the most grown up trouble, we don’t forget they are children. Sexist practices and double standards that benefit no one allow us to hold female children responsible while absolving grown men of their responsibilities.

The woman I was speaking with indicated that she did not want to see “another black man go to jail behind that slut”. She was serious, too. I can’t think of a better reason for a black man to go to jail.

My point is this; American men and women of African descent have both suffered and continue to suffer tremendously in this nation. I am not interested in sacrificing myself or silently allowing other women and girls to be sacrificed so that our men will not sustain additional negative scrutiny; particularly when they have richly earned negative scrutiny and consequences by their behavior. I hate injustice.

In light of our history, and the sexual horrors and atrocities we have sustained and continue to endure at the hands of white and black men; standing against ANYONE that does not treat us respectfully is the only acceptable behavior. Black skin does not afford you impunity, even if you are suffering racism. We all are in black skin and suffering racism.

You know, all of this would be a moot subject if the child in the video had been a little white girl. The handling of the tape in court would be different. In fact, Kelly could have been a year or two older than she and he would have received that constitutional right to a speedy trial, even if he did not want it- as he seems not to want it now-apparently vindicating himself of despicable charges of child pornography have not been sufficient to warrant his pressing for his rights to a speedy trial to date. Despite knowing full well that he has money aplenty to purchase the commodity of so-called justice- everything is for sale in America.

Had the child in that video been a little black boy, sold out concerts would be a non-issue. As a community, Americans of African descent are famously homophobic and sexist; therefore, Kelly’s alleged transgression would be seen immediately as disgusting and wrong. I submit to you that no one would have ever reached the conclusion that the man-child victim had the “heart of a whore”.

SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT