while i work on the internal spiritual simmer i got going on.
working diligently to stand down the wrath that keeps roaring to stand up...despite wrath not being a fruit of the spirit i would like to bear...
it seems folk have reached the conclusion they are witnessing "weakness", "fear", or the desire to "quit".
this is fine.
for those that seek to genuinely encourage and uplift, please know the following...
Momma gave me the below nuggets of wisdom on a plaque, way back before i hit chronological age in the double digits.
i don't know who wrote it, otherwise i would give credit.
folk need to know...
the words below best speak to where i AM...
not sure if it is from sheer rebellion against those that try to force me to stand down. i would like to say it is pure Love.
that would be for me to lie though.
i have no Love for my enemies. none that comes naturally. nor am i fake enough to pretend otherwise.
what i do have is the desire to be in Obedience to Him/His Word. as such i pray for my enemies-through clenched teeth at times, while i work diligently on feeling true Love for 'em.
meekness is not easy. nor does it come naturally for me, and that's the Real.
Truth be told...there is no good little saint that's been that way all their little life over this way. over here there is only a rank sinner...
saved by His Mercy and Grace and even that feels a whole lot like just barely- most days.
when things go wrong, as they sometimes will.
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill.
when the funds are low, and the debts are high
and you want to smile, but you have to sigh.
when care is pressing you down a bit,
rest if you must, but don't you quit.
life is strange with its twists and turns,
as everyone of us sometimes learns,
and many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
don't give up though the pace seems slow,
you may succeed with another blow.
success is failure turned inside out.
the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems so far;
so stick to the fight when you are hardest hit,
it's when things seem worst
that you must not quit.
when i cry it is to cleanse my soul. somewhere i read...to be conscious is to be in a constant state of rage. Truth. only He/His Word helps this condition. defeated devils and souls caught in snares would do well to know this.
then there is this, as it relates to defeated enemies...
Deuteronomy 3:2-And the Sovereign said unto me, Fear him not: for I will deliver him, and all his people, and his land, into thy hand...
defeated devils got my ire up.
been praying for days that Almighty will see fit to take my wrath away...
keeping silence until i AM able to speak in keeping with Him/His Word.
then i spoke and promptly failed;(
it seems i am in the season of apologies. i pray from my soul, in Messiah's Name, for better restraint and judgment as i am tested.
though it must be said- folk invading my privacy might well get the kitchen table straight talk. i.don't.own.that. this is why it is best to mind your own business;) peeking and eavesdropping will most certainly reveal tmi.
i said it.
meant it too.
though i didn't choose it. i AM grateful for it...knowing that Almighty's ways are Higher than my ways. His thoughts Higher than mine can ever be. having ALL Faith that He will lead me on out, having NOT brought me this far to let me fall. on the other side of the test, this is the measure of my Faith...
as we head on into...
ONE YAH~ ONE MESSIAH~ ONE WORLD