I have been considering doing this piece for awhile. I have been hesitant only because as I stated in my initial blog-
“I, like most, would like to be well received and accepted.”
So I have thought and re-thought the idea. In the last few days I have had a couple of experiences and exchanges that have led me back to my original motivation for blogging in the first place. In doing so, I remembered the essence or focus; if you will, of my mission.
“However, more than that, I would like to speak truth into a world of life robbing lies. One of my favorite quotes is from Audre Lorde- “…and when we speak WE ARE AFRAID our words will not be heard nor welcomed but when we are silent, WE ARE STILL AFRAID so it is BETTER TO SPEAK remembering WE were never meant to survive.”
"I want to be afraid to call what is as it is, and do it anyways, always respectfully, with love, in wisdom yet nonetheless. ”
Having reminded myself of that, let’s get down to business.
As I look around me, it appears that most of us don’t know what we are dealing with. We fail to understand the nature of the threat. Furthermore, we are so distracted; God knows it is a discipline remaining focused in this life and this society particularly. I am convinced that non-stop distractions are by design. We as a society are so focused on distracting ourselves, hating ourselves, worshipping ourselves, material gain, and over-consumption---we are not paying attention to those things that are of the utmost importance.
Despite the messages, images, and vicious hateful lies that we as American women of African descent are consistently bombarded with; we must embrace this truth:
Africa is the cradle of civilization. African women are the mothers of humanity. Our strength, determination, unique unparalleled beauty, and resilience is expressed fully and symbolized by our DNA coiled hair.
It is for this reason that the powers that be are tenaciously and unyieldingly assaulting, denigrating, degrading, and destroying the images and humanity of American women and girls of African descent worldwide.
Know the truth and it shall make you free my sisters. Love, accept, and respect yourselves and claim your power in the process.
Sisters, powerfully, knowing what and who you are dealing with is the difference between freedom and oppression. When you under estimate your opponent you only disadvantage yourself. Likewise, when your opponent under estimates you, they disadvantage themselves. Read the following and ask yourself if it sounds like anyone you know? Individual people? Collective groups of people? A collective group of people?
Profile of the Sociopath
This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.
Glibness and Superficial Charm
Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
Grandiose Sense of Self Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution.
Changes life story readily.
Other Related Qualities:
Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world
(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.)
NOTE: In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed "antisocial personality disorder" in the DSM-III and DSM-IV. Some critics have complained that, in the attempt to rely only on 'objective' criteria, the DSM has broadened the concept to include too many individuals. The APD category includes people who commit illegal, immoral or self-serving acts for a variety of reasons and are not necessarily psychopaths.
THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY:
These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable. First, to recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind.
(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling the truth about anything.
(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace.
(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem, it is always someone else's fault.
(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed.
(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They have no empathy for others and are capable of violence. Under older psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a superficial social facade.
Sisters, I did not make this up. I am simply sharing it. Truth is not told, it is realized. Realize for yourselves the truth that our strength is in our differences. We need each other! We have and are everything we need to make the transformation. The world-our children; need the understanding, courageous, wise, faithful, loving (for self first and then others), healthy, powerful, strong, accepting (for self first and then others) focused, purposeful, self-determined, self-defined, respectful (for self first and then others) glorious, bountifully blessed us. Look around-all over the world- the message is loud and clear…
SELF LOVE~SELF ACCEPTANCE~SELF RESPECT