Monday, March 31, 2008

black folks will do better...when black folks DO better

i am personally loving this political season. actually, the pathetic absurdity notwithstanding, there is an upside...there always is…...

quite a few black men have been able to ignore the fact that white women benefited and still do mightily from slavery and white skin privilege; while simultaneously belly aching long and hard about white women’s sons/brothers/husbands. it is really cracking me up to watch hrc do her entitled, shrill, lying, teary-eyed, rules don’t apply to her white woman routine to the fullest for the whole world to witness. she knows her place...first there is the white man and then there is her, the white woman second. wth!!! is obama thinking? hillaryous!

ever notice how white women will claim the benefits of their husbands' experiences at all OTHER times besides slavery and on-going white skin privilege? this is a deliberate tactic and it works time after time. i have witnessed it again and again as black men foolishly fall in, buy in, marry into the nonsense.

many black men have been able to ignore the fact that it has been well recorded that man-less white woman enslavers were required by law, in fear of revolt; to employ horseman security to assist them to ensure the brutal enslavement of black men, women, and children. otherwise, they were perfectly capable by themselves of managing their enslaved humans. furthermore, i have not yet met a white woman whose men folk had not taught her how to use a gun. granted, i am from the south and have had quite a few run-ins with southern belles, steel magnolias, wanna be scarlett o'haras, and proud daughters of the confederacy. these experiences have taught me to look for the smile to reach the eyes and to closely watch behavior. thoughts/feelings of superiority have a distinct vibration and energy i have learned; i don’t fight the feeling as a result. when white supremacy rears its ugly head i act respectfully, boldly, and swiftly to take it right off. i have been labeled often as “intimidating” as a result. fortunately, i care as much about white folks’ labels for me as they do mine for them---not at all.

quite a few black men will readily write off sisters that try to remind them of all the historical and present reasons why, if they are going to do the heavy lifting of committed love, it should be with a black woman. this wisdom gets written off as insecurity and you guessed it--- jealousy. harry potter over at is spilling the beans that most white men won’t in “polite” company. white men’s self respect and murderous desire to remain in the dominant position makes them speak anonymously, if at all…additionally, if they stood and discussed this front and center trust me, there would be reprisals. this is why they don’t speak candidly publicly. white men (all other men in fact) understand the importance of protecting their women at all costs. black men routinely get up and want to advocate for “women” despite the unique suffering and lack of protection (historically and presently) of black women. trust, those prominent brothers that have done this have heard from me. i have said it repeatedly, black folks emulate all the wrong things.

now, compare and contrast that behavior with the black men that cannot seem to wait to say something terrible publicly in jest and seriously about black women. the black men that don’t openly denigrate black women appear to stand in silent agreement. these same silent black men will be offended when word goes out that black men don’t know how to treat their women. these same silent black men that have such visible platforms don’t use them to shut down those other black males that are damaging the collective. so if black men are not concerned with the position and survival of black people and can’t see themselves in their wives, sisters, and daughters (i do not mean only the ones that are personally related to you brothers!)…it is pretty much an exercise in futility for black women to continue be overly concerned. i cannot in good faith advise my sisters to keep waiting…quite a few brothers have moved out and on. black women putting everything and everyone above ourselves has long been the destructive norm. i don’t give half a whit about the norm when it is self defeating.

the only thing i would ask after watching this hillaryous yet pathetic political spectacle is:

brothers, any questions?

of course, i know there will probably be none.

brothers will philosophize, swear they can’t help who they love while refusing to love those that look like them and need them the most, continue to kill each other in record numbers, continue to prey on and take from the women and children they should protect and provide for, despite knowing full well that white men (historically and presently) can’t stand the thought of free genetically dominant black men; and have consistently demonstrated no problem with unevenly applying the law to eliminate the perceived threat, brothers will continue to do those things to foolishly jeopardize their freedom---mind you not honorable imprisonment like fighting for freedom, really stupid embarrassing stuff that support the racist stereotypes, and make yet more excuses while continuing the dogged pursuit of...white women and any other woman at this point---asian, hispanic, racially ambiguous, oh God ANYONE anyone that doesn't look like him.

to quote a peculiar looking little loud-mouth black male with an international platform and high visibility---black wives are a “handicap”. clearly, by the behavior quite a few black men believe this way…


i am now granting myself permission to speak freely---grown talk for grown folks.

why? because black men and women, collectively, have not been able to figure out the simplest things. collectively black folks have continued to measure themselves against white standards/definitions. collectively blacks continue to foolishly see whites as their “competition” rather than acknowledging the historical and present undisputable fact that whites have declared and waged open war against black men, women and children for centuries! there has been nothing, nothing at all that would indicate intent to cease and desist with this “tradition” anytime soon. all signs are to the contrary in fact.

whites (male and female) understand the importance of disrupting the natural balance/dynamics of black male and female relationships. for this reason they have been careful to do it century after century. using everything that they can. today their greatest weapon is the media, imagery, and so called education. we are being turned against each other. used consistently to hurt and disrespect one another. we are allowing our historical enemies to define who we are (try criminals and whores), what we should consider desirable and beautiful (anything but black! ½ black is as black as it can be!!!) and the direction we will go as a people (no where but down). despite being shown time after time the nature of the beast, collectively blacks have sought to negotiate with the proud descendents of sociopathic liars that have demonstrated that treaties, promises, laws and agreements are made to be broken. despite good logic or reason blacks have sought to forget our history rather than embrace, learn and honor our history, ancestors, and ourselves.

adding to this and multiplying the problem, black men demonstrate collectively, a selfishness and cowardice that one would be hard pressed to find in a child of either sex. even children are known by what they...DO. or in the case of black men, refuse to do. like stand up, protect, and provide for their women and children; this should be the norm not the exception my brothers. black men should busy themselves immediately with setting and upholding community standards that provide for and benefit the community---you know the men, women, and children--- not just black men. brothers need to stop, immediately, begging white folks to bestow upon them freedom and equality. there is no way to have great self esteem without doing esteemable things. brothers would do well to realize, finally, one must assert their equality and seize their freedom. but then we come back to figuring things out and courage. speaking of figuring things out…ever ask yourselves, black men, why if black women are so ugly and undesirable are white men so obsessed with us? always have been---even when declaring us “animals” and are the same way now. it is kindda like white folks convincing black folks that africa is bad bad bad while you can’t keep white folks out of rich, fertile, mother of humanity africa. it is called trickery my brothers. whenever you are ready you can stop falling for it.

without fail, when faced with a situation of either disrespecting/betraying his black woman or upsetting a white woman, most black men choose---i will let you take a guess. in doing so, know that you confirm that not only is the white woman supreme and superior but her man is as well-his word is supreme and since he said the white woman is better than your black woman you agree. think about it. you know, fanon’s black skin white masks should really be a cautionary tale not an excuse as some pseudo intellectuals have made it. i have been a dark skinned, gloriously woolly, nappy haired black woman all of my life. i speak from experience. this is also how i know that white men tend to be obsessive about our skin, natural hair, and being in close proximity to us.

so, it was the Ford obama article that i posted that got me to really thinking about this. in it he said "White men, the recipients of the most unearned privilege, wealth and power over the four centuries of English-speaking settlement (theft) in North American"...Read more...

there are other books, written by black men as well, i have read that routinely excuse/omit white women from their rightful places next to their men as enslavers and white supremacists. it is the white woman who has benefitted the most from slavery and white supremacy. let me say that again. ready? it is the white woman that has benefitted the most from slavery and white supremacy. she fights relentlessly to maintain white supremacy. straight hrc gangsta with it in case you didn’t know. understand that because of white supremacy and white domination the white woman gets to be comfortable, protected, well provided for, supreme, the epitome of femininity, virtuous, brazenly slutty and sitting at the top with her white supremacist man---when she chooses. all privileges based on lies, brutality and the continued destruction and exploitation of black people and other people of color world-wide.

despite how history is re-written when the movie gets made by white folks, white women have not been overcome with compassion for the humanity of black folks. when white women like harriet beecher stowe ,who gave birth to uncle tom and his cabin, did challenge the system it was to save the souls of white folks. she was not really trying to stop exploiting the black men and women that made her life so comfortable. the white woman to this day can and does routinely the most gold digging slutty things of all time; while white men keep lying about her being the epitome of virtue, femininity and beauty. black men keep gobbling up the okey doke and self terminating. black women, too, for that matter, but that’s a different post. let me be clear, wherever the black man goes the black woman follows. this has always been the case, from wearing conks/relaxed hair in days of old to what we are witnessing today…

so since black men aren’t figuring this out quickly enough and seem determined to help external de-population efforts by cooperatively internally de-populating---let me help you figure this out. white men and white women share white skin privilege. white men and white women have worked together and continue to work together to enslave black men and black women all over the world. understand that as you scream and shout about the white supremacy and racism of white men while in record numbers dating, procreating, and marrying white women that the joke is on you. it really is a joke at this point. a bad bad bad joke. think about it. the white woman’s value is established/maintained by the same source that in no uncertain terms dehumanizes you and your women routinely. instead of standing and fighting against this declaration of war in large numbers you instead support the nonsense wholeheartedly, disrespectfully, vehemently, loudly in words and deeds. respect is earned my brothers.

the fact that quite a few brothers, lebron james included, can’t see the problem with the revival of king kong makes me want to throw up both my hands. this “classic” has re-emerged around the same time the love of nooses and black-face reappeared. history is repeating itself and quite a few black men have chosen not to be bothered with something as crucial as survival and self preservation. instead, they are busy procreating out and not paying attention. where is the honor, heart, esteem and courage in that? “history does not forgive those that lose their way” Lerone Bennett spoke with great insight and wisdom. it would be in the best interest of all to heed his words immediately.

in closing, let me share this true story. i met a really smart older gentleman recently. he and his blue eyed black wife started a black film festival. how are her blue eyes relevant, you ask? i am glad you did. his wife had the same superiority complex that you will find in quite a few really fair complexioned black people. she consistently made statements that would have not been permissible had she in fact been a white woman. statements that attributed improper planning, disorganization and substandard performance at her film festival to “blackness”, “inferiority”, and “colored folks” rather than her improper planning, disorganization and under performance. since she was in charge that buck would have stopped with her; obviously that fact escaped her. black black me pointing it out did not go over very well either.

her husband is as black as they make them. i have noticed and am not afraid to say that quite a few pro-black, dashiki wearing, power to the people; fist raised black nationalists love love love really white looking black women. unless, they just refuse to pretend and go straight for…white, asian, hispanic, or other women. this brother and i had very interesting conversations. he always told me books to read. one of the books he suggested i read that we were to discuss was black power by stokely carmichael. i needed to re-read it to prepare for our discussion. before we could discuss the priniciples of the book, i learned that this man that can spot a white man conspiracy a mile away---employed an incompetent, entitled white woman to be in charge of the films in his black film festival! “black power” principles notwithstanding! not answering phones, for maintenance, or assisting the person in charge of the films. she was in charge of the films at the black film festival! needless to say, we never discussed the book. the conversation would have been a hollow waste of time. what good are sound principles if they are not applied?

black folks will do better when black folks DO better. it really is that simple.



Khadija said...


Wow!!! As always, I salute your efforts, wit, insight, and...patience. God bless you, because I just don't have the patience to verbally engage with most of our male counterparts anymore.

*Most of the men are long gone...*

The only ones I go out of my way to respond to at this point are the 2% [like Black4Black, Black Seagoat, etc.] that are doing what they are supposed to be doing---protecting & defending Black women & children. I try to stop by these men's blogs to say "Thank you."

*Most of the men have been gone for decades*

I've learned so much over the past few months from the essays & discussions I've read over the internet. My positions about Black "de-coupling" have drastically changed as a result of reading about, debating, and contemplating matters that I had previously thought were resolved by ideology.

It's been emotionally draining & painful. I've learned that Black "de-coupling" is already a done deal [whether I like it or not]. That battle was lost a generation ago & I didn't know it until now. I was disgusted & disappointed in so many ways by the men's comments over at Ruminations' house. I've been appalled at the self-hating positions taken on African-American Muslim blogs.

*Most of the men are following other pursuits*

What Khadija learned: People [including Black folks] are basically opportunistic, not principled. When Black folks are screaming about an unjust script, it's not that they want the script changed. They usually just want a different & more prominent role in the script. This is why it turned out that most of our male counterparts simply want to replace White men, NOT flip the script.

*The men that are gone are not coming back*

I will do what I can to help Black folks who actually want help. But beyond that, I only care about people who care about me & mine. I don't advocate for any conscious Black person to martyr themselves at this point---it would be a waste since most Black folks have long since abandoned the concept of communal interests.

We generally don't respond appropriately to the people [like Min. Farrakhan, the remaining jailed Panthers, etc.] who actually try to help us.

I've recently realized that most Black men checked out of the struggle concept about 35 years ago to follow other pursuits.

*I've resolved emotionally to let these kind of Black men go their own separate way in peace*

I'm letting them go...They are long since gone...When the floods escalate these men will drown. There's no room on the "ark" for these type of Black folks.

(Sorry for any multiple posts.)

Peace, sis.

JJ said...

Preach it Sista!

My fave:

her husband is as black as they make them. i have noticed and am not afraid to say that quite a few pro-black, dashiki wearing, power to the people; fist raised black nationalists love love love really white looking black women. unless, they just refuse to pretend and go straight for…white, asian, hispanic, or other women.

U know I was beginning to think I lived in blogland all by myself with my "radical" ideas. Hell I'm always getting my head chopped off by someone for my "unconventional" views. But damnit I'm glad to see that someone else understands that worshiping at the alter of whitness doesn't do any of us any good.

Anonymous said...

Mothers are the first teachers of children. It is from the mother than the child gets a sense of who he or she is and his or her place in the world. Now, what does that tell you about white supremecy and who really is the power behind that accursed system.

Black 4 Black said...

Thank you focusedpurpose.
It seems that black men don't have the ability to see how our collective black lives are really occurring, because we are living them. That is a very troubling conclusion to draw...and one that I would wish to be false...however...if it walks like a duck.
I continue to see you hold it down...and deliver the truth and that leaves me feeling both proud and ashamed at the same time.
Black males are so quick to run to the white man for acceptance and approval for everything. We feel we need his money, his neighborhoods, and his women to be validated. We continually fail to realize the power we posses. Thank you for your truth.
I cross posted your blog...and I added my thought in closing... I'd be flattered for you to check it out.


Anonymous said...

...People [including Black folks] are basically opportunistic, not principled. When Black folks are screaming about an unjust script, it's not that they want the script changed. They usually just want a different & more prominent role in the script.


I am giving you a cyber high 5 with the comments above. THIS folks is what has ailed the bc for years now.

To add to your excellence statements above. Once they get those prominent roles in the "script", they step all over and forget the people who helped them get there. It becomes the business as usual status quo...and the bc is left looking blank faced as to what happened.

Does this sound like anyone prominent that is currently on everyone's lips today??? hmmm

Khadija said...


Thanks, sis. High-five back at you! I'm at a point now where I'm looking at everybody cross-eyed. I barely listen to what anyone has to say---I'm watching to see what their ACTIONS are.

You're right---once our false "comrades in struggle" get their new roles in the script, they step all over the rest of us. We didn't know it, but we were always only the stepping stones to their ambitions.

And yes, "he who shall not be named" is another example of this. We also have the spectacle of Black folks cheering him tossing his own pastor under the bus as being a shrewd strategy.

Lately, I've meditated on how Black folks actually think that fragmentation & betrayal are shrewd career moves in general! That's why we have folks lifting high the "we are not monolithic" banner.

It's also why we get angry & accuse the few loyal Black folks of being sycophants when we show any sort of loyalty, solidarity, or gratitude for another Black person. Other ethnic groups have no problem with quickly saying "I agree" & "Me too" in support of their own people.

[I had occassion to meditate further on this point when jousting with a troll on another site that was angry because I came to Evia's defense. Thank you, Dear Troll, for clarifying this point about Black folks' slavery-induced aversion to solidarity!]

Our former slavemasters trained us well.


focusedpurpose said...

hi Khadija-

thank you for your encouragement. for the record, i am not patient. i am in fact when left to my natural devices i am quite impatient! God is not done with me yet:-0 i feel encouraged that i appear to be what i am always praying for! my prayer goes like this...God please make me patient, hurry!

speaking the truth as it is revealed to me i really see no other choice. i have been blessed/cursed depending on the day:-) with knowledge of a better way. therefore, i cannot in peace nor good faith sit back and be silent. silence is deadly not golden. thank God i learned that early. whenever i try to forget God sends an angel to remind me. which actually happened yesterday with this post. i had been editing it to death rather than just posting. i really don't want to tick people off. i, too, have been conditioned to believe that black men's egos are so fragile that they cannot ever be told the truth about this big mess that they are greatly contributing to. yet, the solution is impossible without a complete about face from black men... it helps that i have a shiny black, muscular, pearl white perfect teeth, articulate, intelligent, poetry writing, take charge, protective, go get that paper, yummy family man, 3 beautiful children, two cats, a dog, a home, and only work when i want to gig going on! i am not even trying to pretend. when i was single and working all day, i only had time&energy to shake my head at black men and women for their simple-mindedness and total hatred of self.

so for me waking up walking dead is a labor of love:-) i feel my ancestors, too. i seek to never bring them shame or take their suffering for granted.

my childhood taught me early to flip information, to take the cards i am dealt and play them to at the end of the day i can see how this horrible sad state of affairs could really work very well for self loving, accepting, respecting, and right thinking black women. of course black men will be rather screwed, but on this course they already are so wth! it doesn't make sense to self sacrifice for nothing in return which we have done for centuries now.

my posts are as i am led; i will get there at some point. my focus right now is to encourage right thinking and to move in obedience with focused purpose.

you said:

*Most of the men are long gone...*

i think most of our men are scared poopless, stuffed with toxic so-called education, trying unsuccessfully to stay below the white supremacy radar. they are self focused and determined to do what they perceive to be best for their personal selves. if they would listen and pay attention they would have a different game. Andrew Hacker was not kidding when he said, "we have a black middle only exists at the sufferance of white america. we decide how may of you is too many. we pick cosby, we pick powell. we do that. and we are very careful about the numbers." Hacker is a white man. he rolls out the current game and still black men keep playing by white rules (black will never win by white rules---hello!) rather than establishing their own rules and game as we have done before. white folks love to swear they have changed. establish your own town, wall street, political party, institutions black men and women and see if we get rosewood again. but seems that right now black men only want to believe white folks when they are...lying. this life goes to the thinkers and those that make wise, historically informed choices. white folks know that black folks dominate. they know full well the history they refuse to teach. shame on us for expecting freedom to be handed to us. no where in history has that ever happened.

i am sorry that you have felt drained and/or pain:-( if you will consider that black males that have conceded defeat and decided that he will join his historical enemy in the destruction of his people has to take on the very characteristics that he would fight relentlessly in his right mind---it will hurt less. at least for me i find this. most black men (and black women too for that matter) are walking around doing their best white person impersonation. they pay dearly for their monkeying. i personally am not concerned with the committed cowardly clowns. i am speaking to the sleeping warriors.

you said:

"People [including Black folks] are basically opportunistic, not principled. When Black folks are screaming about an unjust script, it's not that they want the script changed"

i tend to agree with a twist. i think most people are followers. the road to hell (i think hell exists in this life and in the next) is wide and there are plenty on that road. the righteous path is a lot narrower.

most black folks really do believe that white is right. they really do believe that if white people said it---by God it must be true. establishing rules for themselves requires discipline and commitment. most people today, have neither. those who hate discipline hate themselves. black men have foolishly spent a great deal of time and energy trying to get white men to understand, accept, agree, and acknowledge that black men are just as good as white men. this is lunacy from the start. other groups---due to low birth rates of whites---have been allowed in the "white" club and behave accordingly. accordingly=devilishly. mankind is proof that God has some kind of sense of humor!

you said:
"We generally don't respond appropriately to the people [like Min. Farrakhan, the remaining jailed Panthers, etc.] who actually try to help us."

this is the way on this earth. no where in history have i been able to find where one suggesting that people behave righteously, decently, with love or Godly toward their fellow human beings has been well received. it is for this reason that i will continue to shine light in darkness. we are all dying with certainty. i would rather live honorably and let the chips fall where they may. i will be in good company!

Khadija i think we would do well to remember that just as the average depiction of who we are is inaccurate---the same is true of our men. yes, there is an undeniable problem. focusing on the problems lead to hopelessness and defeat. focusing on the solutions and execution leads to certain persecution and progress. history informs my assertion. our ancestors have faced substantially worse than we are presently. all is not lost. it is written that we win. it is imperative to remember this...

i am always cautious to be mindful that if my pearls are not respectfully accepted that i am to shake the dust from my feet and move on. i am acutely aware that there is reprobate that most certainly be lost. i have met older black men that were not in the least bit ashamed to say that they were meant to be subservient to white men. well, if that is your belief, exercise it. their destruction cannot be charged to my account; now sitting in silence when i have been called to speak...different story. i am thankful to be able to see this truth.

sis, i just wrote a book. thanks for engaging me. it is always good to hear your voice. big hug!

blessings in abundance,

tasha212 said...


I definitely feel you with regards to conscious black people not being mortors on behalf of sleeping black people. I get very frustrated at the pace at which we are moving. I get frustrated because a vast majority of us are asleep. The funny thing is that even those black people who consider themselves to be enlightened are asleep. Sometimes, I'm just ready to throw my hands up and say forget it. But I know that I must keep going because to whom much is given, much is required. And I have been bless with wisdom and understanding and enough desire to know, which causes me to read and study as much as I can.


Love your post, as usual. I think that you are largely misunderstood. You tell truth and truth is not desired or respected in our culture. But keep telling your truth.

I wonder when will we do better? Probably only when we have to. Who do u think mostly perpetuates white supremacy in our community? A part of it is black men's fault for holding up the white woman as the epiome of beauty and purity. But I also partially hold black women responsible for the perpetuation of the myth because we raise the chilren. We, as mothers, are the first teachers as Anon said. Black men are oppressors of women because they have taken their cues from white men. Patriarchy is a Europeon thing, not an African thing. I think that the problems with our people is that we take our cues from whites, the very people who've been trying to destroy us for centuries.

Khadija said...

@FocusedPurpose & Tasha:

Thanks for your encouragement. I must admit that my thoughts are colored by the fact that I'm exhausted at the moment. Not that I have any legitimate reason to be, compared to what our ancestors [distant & recent] went through.

*Venting mode turned on:*

Nevertheless, I am bone-tired. Part of what has prompted this is that I've been feeling burnt out by my "career." Nothing is what I thought it would be when I was in school:

[1]The worst & most bitter battles against injustice that I've had to fight over the years have been against NEGRO judges. The ones in my jurisdiction are uniformly ex-prosecutors who are deathly afraid of saying "no" to White prosecutors for any reason. They are 1,000 times WORSE than the White judges.

I say this as a former prosecutor. I could only tolerate 1 year in my first job as a prosecutor because I was committed to doing the just & right thing instead of seeking easy & unnecessary convictions. [Which is what, in theory, all prosecutor offices claim as their guiding principle. Hmmmph.]

I've watched these same Negro judges come running back to the community for support when their White masters mistreat them. You know the rallying cry: "We need more Black judges!" No, we don't. Not if they're like the ones we have in my area.

[2] I'm watching other ethnic groups replace White folks as our masters in the court system. When I was in law school 20 years ago, there were very few Asians there. Now I'm watching legions of Korean prosecutors, family-court lawyers, etc. decide Black folks' fates. It's sickening.

[3] Quite frankly, the majority-Black defendant population is getting increasingly idiotic & depraved as the years go by. When I started practicing, you generally didn't have to instruct clients not to clown while in court.

Now, they mostly act like they're in the audience for a Jerry Springer episode----including grown-azz individuals. Then, they are shocked, shocked, shocked when the Negro judge has them arrested for contempt of court due to their behavior.

[4] Not to mention the slave-like behavior that "us" engage in when it comes to Black professionals of any sort---"the White man's ice is colder" syndrome. Negro clients treat me with suspicion & want to fight against me while I'm fighting FOR them at trial.

Meanwhile, whenever White attorneys tell them to plead guilty, let the state take their children away, etc. they gleefully do it with no questions asked.

I made the "career" choices I made because I thought that I would be serving my people. Lately, I've been wondering if I took a wrong turn by not becoming a tax lawyer like my parents suggested. Hmmmph.

*Venting mode turned off*

Okay, I feel better now that I've spewed that out. Again---recently I've been complaining regularly to my family & friends about the above. But I am in the process of changing my career situation. It's time to make a change, and I'm doing it.


focusedpurpose said...

hi there all-

i posted a comment and then my computer crashed:-( and then i needed to go cook dinner. so now i am back.

i had written a follow up book to my Khadija book:-) so maybe now i will more sparingly share my words:-) in other words i am a bit lazy right now! cabernet sauvignon does this to me everytime!

JJ, welcome! i encourage you to continue to speak the truth as you understand it. truth speaking is unpopular---this is why so few do it! don’t let them take your head off. protect the vitals my friend! the objective is superficial wounds at best!!!:-)

Anonymous, hi there. I am never sure if it is a different anonymous or not. if you are new, welcome! If not, welcome back. All I can say is speak! It never ceases to amaze me that the brothers want to give the white woman a pass. All I can say is they need to check the lynching photos. I strongly believe that women teach “it”, fathers reinforce “it” and brothers, husbands and dad enforce “it”! this is why it is so successful. "it” being white supremacy.

As always the way things are for white folks and the way they are for black folks is different. this is why it is so "easy" to get along with white women. they are a lot more relaxed. their men ensure this!

White supremacy and the ravages of slavery add a bitter twist. Look at the formula above and know there is not a whole hell of a lot of reinforcing or enforcing it. thanks to the lack of provision and protection in the black community for black women and children. absent black men ensure this sad state of affairs. some of this is due to historical reasons. A lot of it is due to poor choices; which for me read like this…

…we know that there is a steaming pile of poo ahead (white supremacy/racism/injustice), however we refuse to make the necessary adjustments (resist and counter act the system) so we fall prey to the trap and end up covered in stink and disdain for one another and all other communities have disdain for us.

black people bear a responsibility in that equation. There is no way around this fact.

Hi Tasha-

you said:

“sometimes, i'm just ready to throw my hands up and say forget it. but i know that i must keep going because to whom much is given, much is required.”
yes ma’am! meditate on that for it is the pure unadulterated truth for all of us. you are wise and blessed in abundance to realize this truth. more of us need to come into the understanding and shoulder our collective responsibilities.

i can’t stop. sometimes i feel like forget this. i am going to focus on fabulosity and staying close to the surface. deep makes my head hurt and me lonely because most don’t get it. i actually tried that route; i was miserable with a gnawing in my soul that would not let me rest. i felt very much a part of the complacent problem. my first blog was born during this time, check it out if you get a chance. i was tortured until i sat down to write. i am now fully committed to the message.

i must confess that when people speak of not being martyred for the cause, i think of being persecuted and then changing courses. this cowardiced practice has crippled the liberation struggle. i am not prepared to change courses. so losing my life for the cause seems as worthy a way to die as any. so if i am not understanding you well please clarify what that means. i think both Tasha and Khadija said it.

this is pretty long, so I am going to do another comment…

blessings all,

focusedpurpose said...

Tasha said:

"Who do u think mostly perpetuates white supremacy in our community?"

without hesitation and succinctly we all do unless we are consciously refusing to do so. period. it is how we are conditioned early---to believe in, abide in, and perpetuate white supremacy. it informs every aspect of our existence. in most instances from our religion to holidays to our concept of beautiful.

i addressed it earlier. the damage to the natural male female dynamic really works against us and creates the crises we now see.

i think ultimately women have more responsibility in this part. it isn't fair but then neither is life.

no matter how deserted and abused we have been it is incumbent upon us to not continue to carry the babies of deserters and damaged, negative, selfish males. period.

we need to get so busy with education, sports, writing,politics, finances, the black woman agenda and movement whatever--- that we don't have time to continue the cycle. we can refuse to nurture and give birth to the vicious destructive cycle. it is in fact our responsibility to ourselves and our children. think about it. we are the givers, nuturers of life. what we want to die we can simply refuse to feed. it takes discipline. most worthwhile things do. it is the obvious and only solution.

we will need to get back in line with the natural order of things. white women wanting to act like their depraved oppressive white men have nothing to do with us. we have already been acting like men. time out for that. now. it is killing us. we simply want to be treated with respect, dignity, love, protection, and provision. white women have all of this...we (black women and white women) don't have the same blues. as soon as black women stop pretending that we do we can get down to business.

the natural order of things is for us to hold all the cards and "interview" potential mates. we have the veto power. we are doing the selecting. a lot of us have been chasing, begging, and pleading to be selected. it is time to flip it! get back to the natural order of things. our men have more than demonstrated that they need tough love:-)

you know?


focusedpurpose said...


life is short. do what brings you joy and is your passion for work.

this may sound calloused. that notwithstanding, i will say it anyways... folks that don't understand the legal system is designed to work against them don't need a lawyer. they need a clue! if you find yourself needing a lawyer you are already screwed. unfortunately, most people don't trust lawyers. i don't think that is just black folks.

know that you are always welcome to vent here. this is a safe place for black women. and men too for that matter as long as they enter, stand, and exit respectfully. i love black folks and i am not sorry for this!

i love you sis. handle your business. happiness is not optional!

Aya- i forgot to respond to you again, after the other comment was lost. Khadija is hella wise and is right on point consistently.

now, i am focused purposefully on black folks. i believe that charity starts at home and travels abroad. i look at the condition of black folks and believe that straightening us out will be a life long project. having said that, i invite you to look at the fact that white folks are busy being screwed as well. clinton, bush, mccain, and the other power players are jamming up all non wealthy americans and world citizens. we war not against the flesh...

having said that---obama has totally plucked my last nerve:-)

blessings all,

Khadija said...


Thanks for providing an extra space to vent. I've been irritable, and it helps to vent in a fresh direction. It hasn't helped that I've had to do a lot of "homework" when I come home from work lately.

That's why I'm awake & typing this comment at a billion o'clock in the morning. I'm surfing as a homework break. If I walk too far away from the computer for too long, I'll be tempted not to complete the papers I should finish for tomorrow. That sort of behavior is often called "malpractice," and it's not a good thing. *Smile*

You've made so many critical points, but I'll focus on just one. You said that "it is incumbent upon us to not continue to carry the babies of deserters and damaged, negative, selfish males. Period."

Amen! I've been evangelizing the women around me to lay down the extra & unnecessary burdens that we've been duped into carrying. As you stated, we need to get back to our natural role & start functioning as women. Not as substitute males standing in for Black male deserters.

Thanks again!


focusedpurpose said...


big hug sis!:-)

i love this time. everyone else is asleep and i can read & write without feeling guilty about ignoring them. as long as i monitor the time and the sun doesn't come up i am all good.

it is cliche because it is true---this too shall pass. rough patches grow us. look for the nugget as my man says:-)

blessings sis,

TLW said...

This should be required reading to all Black folks. Thank you for this.

focusedpurpose said...


you are welcome:-)